Trump Puts Pence In Charge Of Women’s Reproductive Organs

Let Me Feel Your Womb, Honey. It's My Job.

Let Me Feel Your Womb, Honey. It’s My Job.

Man Town, Ohio.  President Trump today signed a Presidential order placing Vice President Mike Pence in charge of the reproductive organs of every woman in America.  “Mikey’s a fuckin’ stud,” Trump said earlier.  “He knows his pussies from his boobies, and his hands are always warm and ready for action.  As well, he’s a loving Christian who understands the nature of female reproduction far more than any gynecologist ever could.  What better doctor for women could there be than a decrepit, white, Christian male who takes The Book Of Genesis literally?  I say none.  Therefor, from this day forward, if Mike Pence says women who’ve had abortions are the spawn of Satan and must die, they will die (Probably by being burned alive.  I’ve not yet made up my mind on it).   Also, any woman who does not send a picture of her vagina and uterus to Vice President Pence immediately for a close examination will be summarily put to death by stoning (I like stoning.  It’s both torture AND an execution method).   America can never be great again as long as women have control of their own sex organs.  So say I, President Donald J. Trump, Putin’s Orange Puppet.”

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Pepe The Frog: Black Friday Is Insulting To Whites

"Hey, man," says Pepe the Frog, "Why ain't Black Friday called White Friday?"

“Hey, man,” says Pepe the Frog, “Why ain’t Black Friday called White Friday?”

 Tadpole Town, Oklahoma.   Spokesman and symbol for the Alt Right movement, Pepe the Frog, said today it is highly racist and insulting to call the day after Thanksgiving, Black Friday.  “It feels bad, man,” Pepe said earlier.  “Why ain’t the day after Thanksgiving called White Friday?  Somethin’ wrong with the color white?  Oh, wait!  Of course there is.  White is the color of the most horribly maligned and abused men in America: xenophobic, racist, misogynistic bigots.  What the hell gives people the right to frown on a group of white dudes simply because they’re misogynists, bigots and racists?   Prick these men and will they not bleed?  Call them names and will they not cry?  Give them a black President and will they not feel marginalized and outraged?  They are but human, and it’s time they were treated that way.

Every year these poor men must endure the blatant horror that is the day after Thanksgiving: Black Friday.  Well, I say enough.  Now that we have an orange President who understands the trauma these men have suffered under the color of Barrack Obama’s skin for 8 years, it’s time to do right by ’em and re-name Black Friday, White Friday.  Black has had its time in the sun.  It’s time to send it back to the 18th century so that the better color, white, can once again dominate every facet of the American life.  And what better way is there to help do this then by re-naming Black Friday, White Friday?  None that I can think of, that’s for sure.”

But I Deserved It

childabusedcrying

He hit me

But I deserved it

He raped me

But I led him on

They threw me against a wall

But it was my fault

I cried

Though I shouldn’t have

I once begged for them to stop

But they didn’t

They didn’t because they said

I was bad

And

I

Believed them

He loves me

So I forgive him

When he hits me

I blame myself

I was

Taught that

And

Who

Are

You

To

Question

It?

Trump Supporters In Action

I’ve very few words for this New York Times compilation video showing Trump supporters spewing hatred at his rallies over the past year.  I hope the GOP is proud of the Presidential candidate its voting base has elected.   I’ve issues with Hillary Clinton, many, but I seriously doubt people are shouting racial slurs, misogynistic rhetoric and threats to kill Mexican people and Trump, at her rallies.   This video is a must see.  What a shameful time to be an American.   VIEW VIDEO

Trump Admits He’s Playing Xenophobic, Bully Card

trump-bully

Puffy Hair Valley, Colorado.   Donald Trump today admitted he is playing the xenophobic/bully card to help him win the Republican nomination for President.   “Let’s face it,” Trump said earlier, “I’m a xenophobe and a bully, and I’m damn proud of it.  Being that there are so many other xenophobes and bullies in the Republican Party, I’d be a fool NOT to play this card to my advantage.  We xenophobic bullies are a much maligned minority.  We face continual harassment for our bullying behavior and xenophobic approach toward life.  Just because we believe white males are more American and have more claim on this country than women, Mexicans, blacks, liberals, Asians, Native Americans, people who speak with a stutter, and those with British accents does not make us less equal than other people.  In fact, it makes us better than them.  So, yes, I’m playing the xenophobic/bully card to gain the Republican nomination for the Presidency.  And, once it’s mine, I’ll play the same card, with a dash of misogyny tossed in, to win the Presidency of the United States.  God bless America, and God bless white, male, xenophobic bullies who hate women.”