As you may have heard, an Al-Qaeda terror instructor recently killed himself and several of his terrorist students last week when a vest loaded with explosives detonated while he was demonstrating how to properly use it to his class. What you may not know is that a Christian hate mongering Sunday school teacher, who was teaching preschool children how to properly hate gays, Jews, and menstruating women, was also accidentally killed last week when the hate he had inflamed in his students was released, not on gays or Jews, but on the teacher himself instead.
Apparently, this Christen teacher was showing his class how to recognize if a man is gay by walking in a particularly effeminate and stereotypical manner while whistling tunes from “My Fair Lady.” When the children he had just taught how to hate gays saw and heard this, they mistook him for being a REAL gay man, and attacked him like wolves attacking a baby sheep. He was torn limb from limb by the preschoolers. They also apparently ate what they tore from him because so little was left of him when police finally entered the classroom, his Fred Phelps autographed, “I Hate Fags,” button, which he always wore proudly on his chest, was the only thing left with which to identify his remains. The children were all tranquilized with an animal tranquilizer and placed in small iron cages by the police. Later, upon awakening, they were severely beaten with straps by their Jesus-loving parents. For while it is a good thing to hate and kill gays, Jews, and menstruating women, it is never a good thing to hate and kill those who teach us to do it, not even if it is on accident. So sayst the Lord, Jesus. Amen.