Christ Appears Nude In Gay Bathhouse

Cockland, Indiana.   In news today that’s sent waves of confusion throughout gay-hating Christendom, Jesus appeared, completely nude, at a gay bathhouse in Indiana called, The Tommy Snoodle & Jimmy Doodle Scrub & Bubble Club. “It was INSANE,” said club co-owner Jimmy Doodle. “I was getting the baths ready for the day’s fun by filling them with hot water and bubbles when suddenly there was a pink flash of light and there, right before my eyes, Jesus was standing, completely nude. He sat back on one of our custom designed bubble resistant mats and said to me, ‘Hi, Cowboy, wanna go for a ride on the sacred pony express?’

Jesus, Naked

Jesus, As He Appeared Today In A Gay, Indiana, Bathhouse

I almost died right there.  I said, ‘Yes, Lord, I do,’ and He said, ‘Well, Jimmy Doodle, before you can do that, I need for you to speak out to the people of Indiana. Tell them you saw me here today, in your bathing house for manly, gay men, naked as the day my virgin mother birth me. More specifically, tell them if they own a business, and choose to deny service to gay people, I’m going to become very angry with them. So angry, that I will not let them into the big bathhouse in the sky when they die. Can you do that for me, Jimmy Doodle?’ I told him, ‘Yes, Jesus, I can,’ and then he gave me a long open mouth kiss and said, ‘I’m leaving now, Jimmy Doodle, but I’ll return soon to check on you and let you ride the sacred pony express. Until then, stay gay, and keep on bathing in frothy bubbles with other burly men. Amen.’  Then there was another pink flash, and he was gone. It was crazy and incredibly HOT at the same time. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got a lot of Indiana businesses to visit with the word of God.”