Tag Archives: Hunor

10.14.15
by

New NRA Study Shows Gun Owners Have Bigger Penises

NRA Study Shows Gun Ownership Increases Penis Size

NRA Study Shows, If You Own One Of These, Your Penis Is Big

Little Cock, Arkansas.   The NRA today released the results of a 400 billion dollar study it conducted to show the connection between owning a gun and penis size.  “This study shows, conclusively, that men who own guns have penises that are, on average, 23% bigger than men who do not own guns,” said NRA spokeswoman, Penelope Pubis. “It also shows, quite amazingly, that even women who own guns have a really big penises, metaphorically speaking.   The study was conducted using the utmost care and respect for the privacy of all participants, both gun owners and non-gun owners alike.  Various advanced penile measuring devices were employed and used in a variety of ways too sensitive to discuss publicly.  After 7 months and 400 billion dollars spent, there can be no denying it: those who own guns have bigger penises than those who don’t.  This study also shows, without question, that the primary motivating factor in one buying a gun is not safety, but penis size.  Those with the biggest dicks own guns.  And, yes, this is true even for female gun owners, metaphorically speaking.  ‘Nuff said.”

09.20.15
by

Today’s Message From Jesus

So, I go down to the bloody laundry room to do my laundry this morning and some bitch is down there using, not only all 5 machines, but all 5 dryers as well. When I asked her how long she'd thought she'd be, she tells me, "None of yer fuckin' business asshole!" Needless to say, that was not the answer I was looking for, so I turned the bitch into a newt and sent her laundry into the heart of the sun. Regardless of what you all may have heard about me, I'm not a patient deity, nor am I always nice to people, especially not on laundry day. I fuckin' HATE doin' laundry!

So, I go down to the bloody laundry room to do my laundry this morning and some bitch is down there using, not only all 5 washing machines, but all 5 dryers as well. When I asked her how long she’d thought she’d be, she tells me, “None of yer fuckin’ business asshole!” Needless to say, that was not the answer I was looking for, so I turned the bitch into a newt and sent her laundry into the heart of the sun. Regardless of what you all may have heard about me, I’m not a patient deity, nor am I always nice to people, especially not on laundry day. I fuckin’ HATE doin’ laundry!