Because my sanity is not at all stable, I often get ridiculously nonsensical ideas that I turn into blog posts. This is one them. If famous characters from the Bible were animals, here’s what they’d look like. Hallelujah!
1.) Here’s God just after he, unexpectedly, created the first humans.
I Didn’t Think It Would Really Work. What The Hell Am I Suppose To Do Now?
2.) And here’s his number one bad-ass of a son, Jesus.
I Told Ya I Could Lift It, Pa. Didn’t I? Well, Didn’t I?
3.) And now, to help us round out the three gods who are, somehow, actually only one, here’s The Holy Spirit.
Say, Jesus, I Dropped By To Use Your Pool. Hope You Don’t Mind.
4.) John the Baptist’s freshly decapitated head is next.
What The Fuck Are You Lookin’ At?
5.) A group shot of the 12 Apostles arriving at Jesus’ place for the last supper.
OK, Jesus, We’re Here. Where’s The Eats?
6.) Eve, the first woman, in a rather compromising position.
Hey, Adam! This Apple Just Fell On Me. Could You Help Me Get It Off? Just Don’t Bite Into It For Christ’s Sake, OK?
7.) And, here’s Adam and Eve suffering the consequences of Adam not following Eve’s instructions from the above picture.
Wadda Mean Yer Kickin’ Us Out? Where The Hell Are We Gonna Go?
8.) Lastly, we have this lovely picture of Allah, the great god of the Koran, as he moves into his new home.
There Is Room For Only One God In This Hen House, And It Ain’t You, Yahweh!