Ken Ham Discovered To Be 33,000 Years Old

WTF City, Kentucky.   In simply stunning news today, Harvard Anthropology Professor, Jimmy D. Peenus, announced he has found irrefutable evidence that famous Young Earth Creationist, Ken Ham, is, himself, almost 33,000 years old.  “Mr. Ham is the walking embodiment of a brand new, long-lived form of hominid I’ve named, Homoerectus Ignoramus,” Professor Peenus said earlier.  “I found the evidence for this while I was in the Chauvet-Pont-d’Arc Cave in France examining the stone-age paintings there.  Whilst gazing at one of the paintings, I noticed it more resembled a photograph than an actual painting.  On further inspection, I noticed some writing on the back of the picture which reads, The Earth is only 6000 years old.  Love always, Ken Ham.  I then had the picture carbon dated, and, sure enough, it is, like the other pictures in the cave, approximately 33,000 years old.  The picture in question is shown below.

Photo Of Ken Ham From 33,000 BP Which Was Found In The Chauvet-Pont-d'Arc Cave In France

This Photo Of Ken Ham, From 33,000 BP, Was Found In The Chauvet-Pont-d’Arc Cave In France

Needless to say, I was shocked to realize that I had been standing on the very spot Ken Ham himself stood, 33,000 years ago, spouting his Young Earth Creationist nonsense to a group of primitive human painters.  No known species of animal has ever been reported to live as long as Mr. Ham has.  I must say, however, in conclusion, that I find it rather sad that in all the years he’s lived, Ken Ham has not yet developed the capacity to reason like a mature, educated human being.  The man’s been telling people the Earth is only 6000 years old for all of his 33,000 years on it. You truly can’t get irony any sadder than that.”