Tag Archives: Halloween costumes

10.12.16
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Alt-Right Halloween Costumes

Just in time for Halloween, the Alt-Right movement has revealed some wonderful costumes that can be purchased at whiteismyfavoritecolor.com for just 56.77 each.  Help make the white race proud again.  Buy an Alt-Right costume this Halloween.  The proceeds of every purchase go to the David Duke School For Gifted White Kids located in sunny Palm Springs, California.

1.)

This baby is called "The Wall" and is sure to scare the hell out of every undocumented Mexican near you when you wear it. Help keep America white. Buy, and wear, "The Wall" costume this Halloween!

This first costume is called “The Wall” and it’s sure to scare the hell out of every undocumented Mexican near you when you wear it.  Help to terrify undocumented Mexicans on Halloween this year by buying, and wearing, “The Wall”.   Real Americans everywhere will be glad you did.

2.)

We call this gem the "KKK Lives Matter, Too, Mother Fucker" costume. If you've always dreamed of anonymously burning crosses on the lawns of black people, then this is most definitely the Halloween costume for you.

We call this gem the “KKK Lives Matter, Too, Mother Fucker”.  If you’ve always dreamed of anonymously burning crosses on the lawns of black people in the middle of the night, then this is most definitely the Halloween costume for you.

3.)

These babies are called "Pussy Grabbin' Mitts". They're designed for the discriminating man who wishes to grab pussy this Halloween without the worry of leaving your DNA on the women whose pussies you grab. *A word of caution: If you buy, and use, these mitts be certain to have plenty of Tics Tacs on you. It's our experience that while women love having their pussies grabbed by strange men, they abhor bad breath.

These cuties are called “Pussy Grabbin’ Mitts”. They’re designed for the discriminating man who wishes to grab pussy this Halloween without the worry of leaving your DNA on the women whose pussies you grab.   *A word of caution: If you buy, and use, these mitts be certain to have plenty of Tics Tacs on you.  It’s our experience that while women love having their pussies grabbed by strange men, they abhor bad breath.

4.)

This one's called, "The U.S. President". If you dream of becoming President one day so you can imprison your political rivals, then this is the costume for you. It's modeled after the suit Donald Trump wears to bed every night, and you'll never feel more powerful and self-righteous than when you wear it.

This one’s called, “The U.S. President”.  If you dream of becoming President one day so you can imprison your political rivals, then this is the costume for you. It’s modeled after the suit Donald Trump wears to bed every night, and you’ll never feel more powerful and self-righteous than when you wear it.

5.)

Lastly, we have "The Beauty Pageant Owner" costume. Put this baby on and feel free to walk backstage at any beauty pageant you chose. If you're questioned by anyone, simply say, "I own this pageant, and that allows me to, like a doctor, closely examine all of its contestants whenever I so desire." Freedom to see women and girls of all ages is your when you wear the "Beauty Pageant Owner" costume on Halloween.

Lastly, we have “The Beauty Pageant Owner” costume.  Put this baby on and feel free to walk backstage at any beauty pageant you chose whenever the hell you want.  If you’re questioned by anyone, simply say, “I own this pageant, and that allows me to, like a doctor, closely examine all of its contestants whenever I so desire.” Freedom to see women and girls of all ages in various stages of undress is yours whenever you wear the “Beauty Pageant Owner” costume.

10.22.15
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1 Year Old In Donald Trump Costume Builds 10 foot Wall Around Mexican-American Man’s Home

Whiteman City, Texas.  Here’s a bit of wild, hard to believe, breaking news I thought I simply MUST share with my readers the moment I made it up.

 

Mexican-American, Juan Gonzalez woke yesterday morning to find this wall had been erected around his home overnight by his neighbor's 1 year old son.

Mexican-American, Juan Gonzalez woke this morning to find this wall had been erected around his home during the night by his neighbor’s 1-year-old son.

 

"I woke up yesterday to find my neighbor's 1 year old, while dressed as Donald Trump for Halloween, had erected a 10 foot wall around my house. A sign was hanging on it that read, 'Mexicans Not Welcome Beyond Wall'. Now I've got to sue the kid and his parents for the 5 grand it's gonna cost me to have the wall torn down and removed. I tell ya', white people are all fucking crazy, even when there infants."

“I woke up this morning to find my neighbor’s 1-year-old son, dressed as Donald Trump, had erected a 10 foot wall around my house.  A sign was hanging on it that read, ‘Mexicans Not Welcome Outside Wall’.  Now I’ve got to sue the kid and his parents for the 5 grand it’s gonna cost me to have the wall torn down and removed.  I tell ya’, white people are all fucking crazy, even the tiny ones.”

 

This 1 old old Caucasian boy, while dressed as Donald Trump, built a 10 foot wall around his Mexican-American neighbor's home last night. When asked why he did it, the child gave the raspberries to the African-American reporter who asked the question and belched up bright red cherry juice onto his bib.

This 1-year-old Caucasian boy, while dressed as Donald Trump, built a 10 foot wall around his Mexican-American neighbor’s home last night.  When asked why he did it, the child stuck out his tongue and gave the raspberries to the African-American reporter who asked him the question; then he threw up bright, green bile all over her.

10.31.14
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Halloween Costumes Available At Our Online Store

The Arm Chair Pontificator online store is now offering some truly unique costumes just in time for Halloween. Check ’em out.

1.) The Tea Party Member: This little beauty consists of a three-piece suit, a loaded .45, a thumpin’ Bible, a Jesus Hates Obama, Fags, Jews, and Liberals picket sign, and a tax-exempt number you can use to buy whatever you want, tax-free, for a whole week, all for only $9.99. Act now and we’ll toss in two undocumented Hispanic domestic laborers for you to use, totally free, for as long as you wish. Note: you’ll have to feed them occasionally if you expect consistent, quality work from them.

The Tea Party Member

The Tea Party Member

2.) The Ken Ham: This baby will make you look, think, and sound just like Creation Museum founder, Ken Ham. Put it on, and the world suddenly becomes only 6000 years old; Evolution becomes a big, fat silly lie, and reasonable thinking becomes a completely antiquated mental process. All this can be yours for the biblically low price of just $7.98, plus tax. Order now, and receive an authentic picture of Jesus riding a T-Rex signed by none other than the son of God himself at no additional cost.

The Ken Ham

The Ken Ham

3.) The Wormhole: Put on the Wormhole costume; walk into a Halloween party; switch it on, and watch as your friends are sucked into a massive vortex that sends them…..??? Who the hell knows where it’ll send them! It’s a wormhole! You’ll be talked about at Halloween parties for decades to come when you wear The Wormhole costume at the big Halloween party you plan on attending this year. Inter-dimensional fun is yours for the modest price of just $8.66.

The Wormhole

The Wormhole

4.) The Non-Homophobic, Conservative Christian: Be the talk of all your bible-thumping, gay-hating pals when you slip into this one of a kind costume which allows you to be a gay tolerant Conservative Christian for as long as you wear it. We must warn you, however, that if you wear it for more than 48 hours straight, you very well may find yourself vocally supporting gay marriage rights, so beware. Show hate-filled Christians how to not hate people they don’t understand by purchasing The Non-Homophobic, Conservative Christian costume for the blessed price of just $10.99.

The Non-Homophobic Conservative Christian

The Non-Homophobic, Conservative Christian

That’s all folks. See you later!