Here’s a list of some amazing gadgets I’ve invented for which I’ve awarded myself the Nobel Prize.
1.) Gasoline powered basketballs that play an entire game all by themselves with only a single fill up and no players.
Gasoline Powered Basket Balls Eliminate Need For Players
2.) Chinchilla condoms: Designed to make her happy while keeping you warm.
Chinchilla Condoms Give Both Size & Warmth To Your Johnson
3.) Rape-Free Catholic Priest Robots: They do all the work a regular priest does minus the pedophile rape.
Guaranteed NOT To Rape Even The Cutest Of Little Boys
4.) Salt-encrusted band aids for people whose boo-boos you don’t really want to see heal.
Warning: Use Only On Your Enemies, OUCH!!!
5.) Goldfish polish. A happy goldfish is one that glistens.
One Goldfish, Freshly Polished
6.) Solar powered cats that require no food or water, ever. Just give them 8 to 9 hours of sun light every day, and they’ll last for decades.
Solar Powered Cats Act Just Like Non-Solar Powered Cats & Require No Food Or Water
7.) King cobras that seek out and bite only KKK members.
KKK Killing Cobras: They Just HATE Racist Bigots!
8.) Rat-hair socks. 20 rats go into the making of each pair.
Put Rats To A Good Use: Wear Rat-Hair Socks
9.) Battery/AC powered panties for the woman who prefers to do everything herself.
Keep Your Privy Parts Juicy With Battery/AC Powered Panties
Above items can be purchased for just 8.99 each at the ACP online shop. Thanks for reading, and thank you for not smoking while the ride was in motion.