Santa’s Village, North Pole. An elf named Sara Tinsel is claiming Santa has been sexually harassing her and many other elves for years. “It’s terrible,” Ms Tinsel said earlier. “Santa just started rubbing my shoulders late one night as I worked alone in his toy shop about 15 Christmases ago. He said I looked tense and cold and that his big, gloved hands were just the things to loosen and warm me up. He placed his mouth so close to my pointed ears when he said this I could smell the cinnamon on his breath. I asked him to please stop, and, at first, he did. But, then, just this last Christmas, he walked into the toy workshop wearing nothing but his red hat and his black boots while several of us elves were putting together Malibu Barbie play sets. His snowballs were completely in view for all to see. He walked around, checked our work, smiled, and then left without saying a word.
Most of my fellow elves have been afraid to speak out about this because, should we lose our jobs, it would be almost impossible for us to find new ones. Who’s going to hire a bunch of three-foot, pointy-eared elves whose only skills involve toy-making and reindeer care? Not anyone that I can think of. However, I’ve had enough, and I’m reporting this in the hope that Santa becomes SO embarrassed by his actions that he ceases them immediately. I hope it works. He’s a great guy when it comes to giving kids toys, but that does not give him the right to treat us elves as his personal sex kittens. And, if he does not stop, we will be filing a class action sexual harassment suit against him to make him stop. Hope you all find time this season to have a very Merry Christmas and a blessed, harassment free, new year. “