Palm-To-Pussy Village, Ohio. Elmer Fudd, of Warner Bros. cartoon fame, said today that he and Donald Trump have been falsely accused of grabbing women by the pussy without their consent simply because they’re stars. ” It’s totawy rididwoulous,” Mr. Fudd said earlier today. “I would nevewer gwag a wady by her pussy if she didn’t want me to. And Mr. Twump wouldn’t eithewer. Hillawy Cwinton and her evil followers are da ones saying dis. Donald Twump is awesome ‘n he wuvs Aemrwica! I will shoot to death anyone who disagwees wit dis. So sayeth me, Elmew Fudd, Bugs Bunny’s # one nemesis. Scwuw wiberals! An’ scwuw doze who hate Donwald Twrump!” We at The Arm Chair Pontificator would like to thank Mr. Fudd for offering an opinion that reflects the belief of 98% of Americans. Donald Trump is America’s man, and Donald Trump will be America’s leader as of 11/09/16. God bless America, and God bless Donald Trump. $Amen$
I’ve decided I’m going to run for President of the U.S. Hell, why not? I’m a self-awarded Nobel Prize winner. No other candidate can make that claim, AND I’ve picked Elmer Fudd to be my running mate. How can you go wrong with that? With the 750 million followers I have on this blog, and the 6 billion views it gets per day, there’s no way I can not become President. I wonder, now that I’m running for President, how long will it be before I start receiving national security updates?
Elmer Fudd, the beloved Warner Bros cartoon character, announced today that he will no longer hunt for his elusive arch nemesis, Bugs Bunny. Instead, Mr. Fudd stated, he will point his rifle at targets easier to hit, namely, liberals, a-theists and anyone having ever read a book by Christopher Hitchens or Richard Dawkins. “Bugs was just too hard to kill,” Mr. Fudd said. “Wiberals and dose who don’t beeweeve in our Ward Jeebus Chwist are easier to kill and deserb to die fer der horrible beweefs.”
It’s uncertain how seriously Mr. Fudd’s threat should be taken, however, because he is only a cartoon character firing cartoon bullets. Thus, the likelihood of anyone actually being hurt by him is practically nonexistent.
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