Josh, The Naked, Drunken Christian

Hi, ebryone, I’m J..osh, ‘n I’m a Chriztion, I’m neeked, ‘n I’m drunk ‘cauze I drunk a ton ‘o beerz dis mornin’.  BURP!  I’m here ta tellz ya ’bout a guy who…BURP!..iz always walkin’…be..BURP!..hind ya.  ‘Ez a GREAAAAT guy, too, ‘n ‘iz name ‘iz…wait…’iz name iz….Jimmy?  Naw, dat guy was my college roomie but ‘e wasn’t like da guy walkin’ wit ya when yer…BURP!!…in need ov a godly brewskee.  Dat guyz name iz…Oh, right, ‘ez Jezuz!  He got..murdered ‘n wanted to ‘n then ‘e….whad ‘e do now?  Oh, right!  ‘E came back ta life…’n ‘e waz a zombie, ‘n ‘e….BURP!!!…No, wait.  I’m thinkin’ ov dat AMC show wit zombies, Da Walkin’ Fred.  Dat ain’t Jezuz.  Jezuz iz a…BELCH!  George Romero creation ‘n ‘e kin only die if ya shoot ’em in da ‘ead.  But, ‘ez always wit ya, ‘n if ya needs ’em, juz look behind ya, ‘n he’ll be der wit an open beer fer ya…BURP!…datz da shit I’m talkin’ ’bout, man!  Datz da shit!  See ya’z later, I gotta go worshup da porcelain goddess.  BURP!