
Hi Batman. My name is Ronald Rodslimp Wrinkleberry. I’m 24 years old, and I’ve a question for you. For some reason, girls don’t seem to take a hankerin’ to me. I try very hard to get them to notice me, but they act as if I’m not even there. I’m thinking of becoming a crime-fighting vigilante, like you, in order to make myself more attractive and noticeable to girls. Can you please give me some tips on how to do this, as I really have no idea where to begin. Thanks.

Thanks for your question, Ronald. Unfortunately, because of multiple lawsuits I’m currently involved in, I can’t answer your question. But, I can say this. Give up on trying so hard to get girls to be interested in you. I’m a dark, disturbed, bad-ass of a billionaire who gets babes to fall all over him like drops of rain on a Spring morning. You’re nothing like me, and no amount of crime-fighting advice is gonna change that. So, just be yourself; enjoy your comics and your video games, and stop pestering girls. They really don’t like it. OK? Sincerely, The Batman