Virgin Mary Strongly Supports Birth Control

Virgin Mary Says, Use Birth Control For Christ's Sake

Virgin Mary Says, Use Birth Control For Christ’s Sake

“If you are going to make the beast with two backs and do not want a baby or an STD, then use a damn condom!” The Virgin Mary said today at the President’s Advisory Committee For The Eradication Of Archaic Thought meeting. “Condoms save lives. Thinking like a 4000 year old Biblical figure doesn’t. And not every woman is lucky enough to have a husband like my Joseph, who’s a sweet bloke, but just about as naive and thick as they come. So if you’re gettin’ a little somethin’, somethin’ on the side, and don’t think your fella will buy the, ‘I was raped by God and it’s His baby,’ story, use a damn condom!”