Bible Characters Who Had Weight Problems

Here are a few pics of Bible characters who had appetites that were, to say the least, rather insatiable.

Baby Jesus Had Quite A Problem Keeping His Weight Down. His Mother, Mary, Once Said About Him, "Yeah, That Little Dickens LOVES His Donuts, And, Since He's, Well, God, He Can Simply Materialize Them Whenever He Wants Them. Makes It Damned Hard To Monitor His Diet, I Must Say."

Baby Jesus Had Quite A Problem Keeping His Weight Down. His Mother, Mary, Once Said About Him, “Yeah, That Little Dickens LOVES His Donuts, And, Since He’s, Well, God, He Can Simply Materialize Them Whenever He Wants Them. Makes It Damned Hard To Monitor His Diet, I Must Say.”

 

Mary Magdalene Had A Love For Pasta That Was Notorious Throughout The Ancient World. August Caesar Once Said Of Her, "That Lady Sure Can Eat. I Invited Her To The Palace For Diner One Night And It Cost Me, Like, 4500 Bars Of Gold In Pasta Alone. That's A LOT Of Gold, Even For The Emperor."

Mary Magdalene Had A Love For Pasta That Was Notorious Throughout The Ancient World. August Caesar Once Said Of Her, “That Lady Sure Can Eat. I Invited Her To The Palace For Diner One Night And It Cost Me, Like, 450 Bars Of Gold For The Pasta Alone. That’s A LOT Of Gold, Even For The Emperor.”

 

Not Only Was St. Peter A Heavy Fella, He Had A Belch So Loud It Shook Buildings, At Least According To St. John. "Yep," John Once Said," Peter, After Eating An Entire Roasted Pig By Himself, Belched So Loud The Doors Of The Restaurant We Were In Literally Fell Off The Hinges. Wild Fella, That Peter."

Not Only Was St. Peter A Heavy Fella, He Had A Belch So Loud It Shook Buildings, At Least According To St. John. “Yep,” John Once Said, “Peter, After Eating An Entire Roasted Pig All By Himself, Belched So Loud The Doors Of The Restaurant We Were In Literally Fell Off Their Hinges. Wild Guy, That Peter.”

More Photos Of Famous People From The Bible

Moses came by again today with a few more pictures he found in his underwear drawer of famous people from the Bible. He said he put them there ages ago, and forgot about them. He wanted to share them once again and said there’s more were these came from. Enjoy.

Moses Wakes After An All Niter In Taiwan To Find His Shirt Missing And His Entire Upper Torso Covered In Tattoos, circa 1999

Moses Wakes After An All Niter In Taiwan To Find His Shirt Missing And His Entire Upper Torso Covered In Tattoos, circa 1999

 

Photo From Methuselah's New York Drivers License Which Was Revoked For Receiving 62 Many Moving Violations In 13 Months, circa, 1994

Photo From Methuselah’s New York Drivers License Which Was Revoked After He Received 62 Moving Violations In 13 Months

 

Abraham In A Mexican Toilet Stall With Jesus, Who'd Eaten 2 Bowls Of Beans Two Hours Prior, In The Stall To His Right, circa 1987

Abraham In A Mexican Toilet Stall With Jesus, Who’d Eaten 2 Bowls Of Beans An Hour Prior, In The Stall Directly To His Right, circa 1987

 

Mary Gives Joseph The Cuckold Sign After Her Date With God's Angel

Mary Gives Joseph The Cuckold Sign After Her Date With God’s Angel, circa 9 months B.C.

 

Peter Gets A Call From Jesus On His Cell

Peter Gets A Call From Jesus On His Cell, circa 2012