The Wives Of Jedi Master Yoda

Everyone knows the lovable Jedi Master, Yoda, but few know of the many wives he’s had in his life.   Here’s a list of them and Yoda’s comments about them.

“Married four times, I’ve been. Exhausted it has made me,” Yoda says.

 

Yoda’s First Wife and Sister To Evil Emperor Palpatine, Margaret Thatcher. “Too self-centered, she was,” Yoda says of her. “Used my toothbrush, she did.  Apologize, she would not. So divorce, I did.”

 

Yoda’s Second Wife, Dianne Feinstein. “Smoked like a chimney, she did. Whole house she stunk up!” Says Yoda. “So papers I served her, and out she went!”

 

Yoda’s Third Wife, Nancy Pelosi. “Dogs she loved,” Yoda says of her, “but allergic I am. The dogs or me, I said, and the dogs she kept.”

 

Yoda’s Current Wife And Dark Lord Of The Sith, Ann Coulter. “Powerful, she is,” Yoda says of her. “Afraid of her, I am. Marry her I should have not, but prisoner I now am. Help me Obi-Wan Kenobi, you’re my only hope!”

 

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Ann Coulter Confesses, “I Used To Be A Man!”

And not just any man, as it turns out, but 1970’s TV star, Grizzly Adams.

Ann Coulter circa 1977

Ann Coulter, circa 1977

Ann Coulter Today

Ann Coulter Today

“I always knew I was a conservative, right-wing harpy trapped in the body of a bear-loving outdoors man,” the former Mr Adams said. “But I was afraid to say anything about it because of the discrimination so many transgendered people face in America. So I secretly moved to Sweden, shaved my beard, and had a sex change operation. I stayed in Sweden working as an “escort” to wealthy business men until I earned enough money to return to the states and fully become the conservative, judgmental, bitch I always felt I was.

Hopefully my fellow conservative, judgmental friends will still embrace and love me now that they know I once had a cock and a thick-ass beard. I see no reason why they should have an issue with this. Do you?”