89% Of Americans Think The French Talk Funny

According To Most Americans, People Who Live Here Talk Funny

According To Most Americans, People Who Live Here Talk Funny

French Toast Town, France.   Shocking news was released today by MIT Linguists Professor, Connie Servative in regards to a 15 year study she conducted to determine what percentage of Americans think the French talk funny.  “Precisely 89% of Americans have a feeling deep in their gut that French people talk funny,” Professor Servative said earlier.  “That is a much higher number than the 34% I expected to find 15 years ago when I first began this exhaustive study.   As any decent American can tell you, French people speak in a strange, primitive language that is nowhere near as advanced as the superior form of American we Americans speak.  However, I did not expect so many Americans I surveyed to say French people sounded funny when they talk.  Americans usually have much better manners than to admit such thoughts out loud to people they don’t really know.   Since so many of them did admit this to me, I can only conclude that, indeed, not only do French people speak a language much more primitive than American, it also sounds funny when they speak it.  Hopefully the results of this survey will help the French move into the 21st Century and learn proper American like we Americans speak.  Perhaps then so many Americans won’t think they sound funny when they talk.”

9 Out Of 10 Americans Shocked English Language Not An American Creation

What Do You Mean,English Isn't An American Creation?

What Do You Mean, English Isn’t An American Creation?

In unsurprising news today, Oxford University released its findings on a 13 month study which confirmed the embarrassing fact most Americans are unaware the English language originated in ENGLAND and not New Jersey. “Wow!” said Nancy Silliasskiss, an American. “England? People there sound, like, so fucking weird. Hell, I’d even say, effeminate, if I weren’t a lady myself. No fucking way my language started there! Someone’s fuckin’ with me. Right?”   “The sad case is,” said Oxford Professor, John Stuckupagus, “is that so many Americans are so poorly educated, and so arrogant at the same time, little in the world makes much sense to them at all, and they blame those who point this out to them for, well, pointing this out to them. Our prognosis for America is very poor. Do you realize there are groups there who literally deny the science of evolution and are vehemently fighting for creationism to be taught in public schools instead? Really, I’m not fucking with you. Sad, isn’t it.”