Abraham’s Babysitting Service

Abraham: Best Damn Father EVER!

Abraham: Best Damn Father EVER!

Sacrifice City, California.   Is your baby holding back your social life?  Do you need a break from all those “parental” responsibilities that are simply wearing you the fuck out?  Well, then we’ve got just the thing for you.  Abraham’s Baby Sitting Service.  Abraham, yes, THAT Abraham, has returned to Earth to offer his services as a babysitter, for the nominal fee of $65.95 per hour, to parents who need a good ole fashioned break from, well, parenting.  Who better to leave your child with than the decrepit old fart who almost killed his son because “God” told him to?   How many babysitters do you know who can even claim to have spoken to God at all, eh?  None that we can think of, that’s for sure.  So, if you feel it’s time for a break from your child, simply leave him in the hands of the guy God spoke to and said: “STOP!  Don’t cut your boy’s throat.  I was just fuckin’ with ya!”  Book an appointment to have Abe watch your child today at http://www.godtalks2abe.com, and receive, absolutely free,  a shiny new, solid silver, steak-carving knife.  Oh, and remember, tell Abe the Pontificator sent ya’.

Famous Historical Mother Fuckers

Here are a few pics of some historical mother fuckers who really bother the shit outta me. I thought I’d share them with my readers, being the nice fella I am.

1.) Ever wonder why child abuse is so rampant in our society? The fella pictured below, and his made up deity, are two of the main reasons.

Abraham, Father Of Modern Day Child Abuse & True Mother Fucker

Abraham, Father Of Modern Day Child Abuse & True Mother Fucker

2.) This next fella, I really hated when he was alive. And ya know what? Now that he’s been dead for a few years, I STILL hate him.

Ronald Reagan, Mother Fucker

Ronald Reagan, Conservative Republican & Mother Fucker

3.) Next up is a guy you can’t help but despise. I know I do. He was the Nazis head of media propaganda and a class “A” mother fucking waste of DNA.

Joseph Goebbels, Mother Fucker Extraordinaire

Joseph Goebbels, Mother Fucker Extraordinaire

4.) And to complete today’s list of truly rotten, stinkin’ mother fuckers, I offer you the 5 MEN who recently made Hobby Lobby and Christianity more important than women’s sexual health here in the good ole U.S. of A. I hate these pricks most of all. They should know better this. Really, they should.

The Supreme Court Mother Fuckers Who Recently Bonded Religion To The State Permanently

The Supreme Court Mother Fuckers Who Made Christian Morality More Important Than Women’s Sexual Health

More Photos Of Famous People From The Bible

Moses came by again today with a few more pictures he found in his underwear drawer of famous people from the Bible. He said he put them there ages ago, and forgot about them. He wanted to share them once again and said there’s more were these came from. Enjoy.

Moses Wakes After An All Niter In Taiwan To Find His Shirt Missing And His Entire Upper Torso Covered In Tattoos, circa 1999

Moses Wakes After An All Niter In Taiwan To Find His Shirt Missing And His Entire Upper Torso Covered In Tattoos, circa 1999

 

Photo From Methuselah's New York Drivers License Which Was Revoked For Receiving 62 Many Moving Violations In 13 Months, circa, 1994

Photo From Methuselah’s New York Drivers License Which Was Revoked After He Received 62 Moving Violations In 13 Months

 

Abraham In A Mexican Toilet Stall With Jesus, Who'd Eaten 2 Bowls Of Beans Two Hours Prior, In The Stall To His Right, circa 1987

Abraham In A Mexican Toilet Stall With Jesus, Who’d Eaten 2 Bowls Of Beans An Hour Prior, In The Stall Directly To His Right, circa 1987

 

Mary Gives Joseph The Cuckold Sign After Her Date With God's Angel

Mary Gives Joseph The Cuckold Sign After Her Date With God’s Angel, circa 9 months B.C.

 

Peter Gets A Call From Jesus On His Cell

Peter Gets A Call From Jesus On His Cell, circa 2012