“We’re Not Going To Do Anything They Haven’t Been Doing For Years,” Nancy Pelosi Said Today
Quid Pro Quo City, Ukraine. In a shocking statement this morning Nancy Pelosi, the Democratic Speaker of the House of Representatives, announced her plan to ask China to help Democrats win in 2020. “I mean, why the hell not,” said Speaker Pelosi. “President Trump and the GOP have been doing things like this for years. Hell, I doubt they could’ve won ANY election in the past 20 years without outside help. So, I figure, it’s about time we did the same thing to help keep the political playing field level. I was just on the phone with Chinese President, Xi Jinping, and promised him that if he can get us dirt on, and nude photos of, Donald Trump and Senate Majority Leader, Mitch McConnell, we would gladly lift all tariffs on Chinese goods when we take over the Federal Government in 2021. He was more than happy to oblige me and even said, ‘What took you so long to call? We’ve been eager to help you guys cheat to catch up with the GOP for years now! Hee Haw! Time to kick some Republican ass!’ Needless to say, we Democrats are thrilled with this development and hope to use Chinese help to seriously bend the 2020 elections in our favor. Well, until then, God bless America. God bless Democracy, and God bless free, open, and fair elections.”
The Arm Chair Pontificator 
If Donald can open his campaign with a Prosperity Preacher surely the Democrats can match him?
Why not call on Alina Li? She’s Chinese.
(You’ll have to Google as I did)
She’ll go down like a bomb at the Dem convention.
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OOOO!! I LIKES her! Damn you, Ark! Now you’ve forced me to go on Porn Hub to check out of of this young lasses finer work!
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A perfect ”Chinese Whisper” for the Dems, don’t you think so?
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Absolutely.
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Yes! Don’t stop with China. Just set up a hotline at DNC HQ and ask Governments from around the world to phone in dirt on Trump.
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Grand idea!
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Excellent! I even laughed … I wasn’t sure what the sound was at first!
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We laugh to keep ourselves from crying these days, eh. 🙂 Glad you liked it.
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You’re right … and sometimes even in our laughter there are tears. Sigh.
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Too funny. This is why it is lost on the president and his sycophants why it is illegal. If you want to get a Trump fan to think about this, ask if Obama had done the same thing in 2012 looking for dirt on Mitt Romney or if Bill Clinton did the same with Bob Dole what would his or her reaction be?
Going one step further, George W. Bush is the benefactor of “Swiftboating” John Kerry. A man who did not serve was successful in belittling a Vietnam veteran for his war history based on a trumped up story. It was shameful. Four years earlier, Bush’s people derailed John McCain in a SC primary putting out a story that McCain had fathered a black child out of wedlock. The truth is he and is wife adopted a girl from India. People must pay attention as either one of those men would have been a better president than Bush and far better than the current one.
Keith
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Very true. Imagine if Hillary had won and it was SHE who was soliciting foreign governments for aid in defeating her Republican opponents right out in the open the way Trump does. Just imagine what Lindsey Graham would be saying about it. Or imagine her being caught on tape saying it’s OK for her to grab men and women by the genitals simply because she is famous. The hypocrisy of Republicans is as sickening as it is infuriating. My anger at their damaging, hurtful idiocy grows by the day.
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Trump and McConnell naked? hahahahahaha!!!!
Great post my friend.
And speaking of the 2020 election. I hope Trump is out of office because us Americans need good Avocados from Mexico.
I don’t like the Avocados I buy at my nearest grocery store.
You know what I mean?
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Yes I do. 🙂
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Good stuff…except for the image of Trump and McConnell naked. Waterboarding sounds far less torturous in comparison.
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I know. Gross friggin’ images, eh.
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Sounds too true to be satire … 😈
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If it were, Republicans would be screaming about how wrong Dems are for doing it while continuing to do it themselves. They’re hypocritical, immoral bastards.
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I love mirrors!
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I doubt Republicans would know how to look in this one. They’re blind to all but their own immoral impulses.
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It’s impossible not to see it. It’s the angle Dems should be taking. Actually, I was happy to see Schiff play that word game at the beginning of the hearing the other day. Hearing the Republicans whine was hilarious.
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It’s so cut and dry here. Dems are slowly learning. Let’s see how this goes. I mean, Trump’s mouth-pieces aren’t really even defending him. They’re just calling Dems names.
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And no snowflake whines as much as a Republican scorned–or caught.
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Jeff, this is brilliant
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Thanks, my friend.
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You should get a Nobel in literature. I insist
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I know, right!
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Reblogged this on The Secular Jurist and commented:
Brilliantly funny satire! MUST READ
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Thanks for the re-blog my friend.
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🙂
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