I have come up with some Nobel Prize winning thoughts on gun violence in America: what its causes are and how to best end it. I’m including these flawless thoughts in my platform as I run for the US Senate in 2020. I am the only solution to the problem that is a liberal-infested, media-haunted America. Anyone who thinks otherwise is wrong and a libtard. Period.
The media should be required, under penalty of death, to report only what our government WANTS us to know. Turn each shooting into a “Candy Given Away To Hungry Kids” headline, and all will be well. Shootings will stop, and a happy bliss will fall over America. Hell, don’t cover ANY shootings and INCREASE the ease with which people can purchase weapons–THAT will surely solve the problem. To further my argument, let me list the following, true, causes of gun violence in America.
1.) Media coverage of shootings is, first and foremost, the main reason gun violence exists in America. Period. 2.) Video games. These, without a doubt, are making mass shooters out of our youth. There is NO argument against this that even begins to make sense. 3.) Comic books and violent films. Again, it is inarguable that THESE things are a MAJOR cause of mass shootings in America. Only sissified liberals argue differently. 4.) Media coverage of mass shootings. (I know, this is also reason one, but it is SO much a reason as to why these shootings happen, I felt I just HAD to mention it again. OK?) 5.) Liberals who are demanding stricter gun sales. These sissified, anti-American a-holes are a MASSIVE cause of mass shootings because they rouse trouble wherever they go by talking their leftist, commie bullshit. This enrages true Americans who then read comic books and play video games; this then leads them to use their otherwise safe semi-automatic weapons to kill hundreds. Science supports me on this, as does the internet. Look it up if you don’t believe me.
To conclude, there are few horrid things that happen in America today that aren’t caused by liberals, the media and their disgusting disregard for the truth the rest of us Christ-loving Americans are so proud of. Like Sally Field once said to Burt Reynolds, “Burt, if the media ignored libtards and mass shootings and only told us about the happier things in life, we’d have nothing to ever worry about.” Wiser words have never been spoken. Think about it: If you don’t hear about a blood-filled mass shooting that happened in a city across the country from you, did it really even happen?