01.14.19
by

I’m Running For The Senate In 2020

Hello, my fellow Americans.  I’m running for the Senate in 2020 as a Republican.  The main policy on my platform will be to build gas chambers and crematoriums throughout the country to deal with the “problem” of the poor and the disabled.  Really, do we need ’em?  More importantly, do we need to pay taxes for idiotic programs to “help” ’em?  Seriously, do we?  Naw.  Gas ’em.  Cremate ’em, and use their ashes to fertilize American veggie gardens.  I feel my policy here is sound and will be backed by the all-loving power of Our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, TrueChristians everywhere, and the best/wealthiest 1% of America’s proudest conservative citizens.

The Simple Solution To Poverty In America

I’ve always considered myself an independent who’s leaned left, but, lately, I’ve been changed by the joyous rapture I experience when watching President Trump and his ilk bringing the positive love and empathy they do to our fine country.  So, I’ve now become a Christ-loving, conservative Republican who believes in wiping out the poor and disabled, literally, and making America a true, tax-free, Christian theocracy so the all-encompassing love of Our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ can be shared with every single American whether they want it to be or not.  I say, let’s gas and cremate ALL disabled and poor/lazy people, who are sucking our country dry of resources, so we can give rich people handouts, OOPS, I mean tax breaks, and deport anyone who doesn’t agree with my idea of a TrueChristian, theocratic, federal government.

My ideas may very well disturb you if you’re an atheist or non-Christian when my Christian theocracy becomes the rule of law in America, but, get ready, because it soon will.  There’s so much quiet complacency and lack of involvement, politically speaking, in our country, especially by young people, that a radical, gas chamber-buildin’, conservative Christian like me can’t help but develop enough power to win the Senate, and eventually the White House itself.  And I’ll do it all right in front of a stunned nation that’ll, perhaps, later say, “How the eff did THAT guy get SO much power and why isn’t anyone doing ANYTHING to stop him?  Christ, they’ve just gassed and cremated 659 poor and disabled people not more’n a block down the street from me!  Whaaa haaaapeenn?!”

If you begin to worry at all about what I’m saying here or think that it may, just may, be wrong or, heaven forbid, in bad taste, don’t.  It’s harmless.  I’m harmless.  So, don’t worry.  There’s no need to get involved in a fight over the things I plan on doing for America.  As a matter of fact, I’m counting on most people NOT getting involved.  You know, like usual.

Lastly, I’d like to leave you with these thoughts.  There are a few disabled vets in my building who are complaining that their food stamps are gonna be cut off due to the current government shut down.  Really? I mean, COME ON!!!!  How friggin’ LAZY can people get!!!!  Why in the name of Our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, should MY tax dollars go to pay for some disabled person’s food in the first place???!!! Talk about a friggin’ WASTE of MY hard-earned money!!! If anything good at all comes out of this shut down, it will be to expose the lazy bastards out there getting free food on OUR tax dollars!!!  Christ, this is NOT good.  See, if we just gassed and cremated ALL of these poor and disabled lazy bastards, we’d all have more $$ in our pockets.  And the air would smell better too because, let’s be honest, poor and disabled people STINK to high heaven.  Yuck.

IBTD1 For U.S. Senate

When I win my Senate race in 2020, I will have the political power to begin implementing my political agenda.  I’ve been getting positive support for my ideas from my Christian pals on the right and from conservatives in general throughout America.  I’m counting on most “regular” folks to not take me my agenda seriously and think I’m really no different from whichever liberal bastard I’ll run against in 2020.  It’s all the same.  It’s all the same.  It’s all the same.  If everyone repeats this ten times when they kinda get worried about my agenda, they’ll stop worryin’, and all will be the same.  All will be the same.  All will be the same.  Vote for Inspiredbythedivine1 in 2020.  Vote to end poverty by gassing and cremating the poor, and vote to finally bring a Christian theocracy into America as law.  $Amen$

 

62 thoughts on “I’m Running For The Senate In 2020”

  1. Pingback: I’m Running For The Senate In 2020 on The Daily Pause

  5. This year is the 150th anniversary of the periodic table – you should write a post (or many), about Christians being mad at that. At their alternative versions etc etc 😀

    Liked by 3 people

    Reply

  6. I’ll doorknock for you. I’ve always wanted to punch old ladies in the face, and now I can!

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

  8. I seriously wonder if it’s some sort of reverse evolution or deevolution in some members of a species. Why would anyone be proud of being willfully ignorant.

    And these people are not the greedy wealthy ones who care about money only, for those can be quite intelligent in business.

    It’s the same old tired story….the uneducated, the unread, racist and religious of a particular variety…some kind of combination of these things. It gets old.

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

    • I don’t know. I simply don’t. It is beyond me that people could deliberately choose to be this awful and ignorant in spite of the great potential we have as human beings to do actual, real, empathic good in the world.

      Liked by 4 people

  10. Putting Donald Trump Supporters Through an Ideology Test: The Daily Show

    This sums it up. hahahaha!!!

    Liked by 4 people

    Reply

  11. Well you got my vote, not that it’s worth shit ‘cos I’m not even a mericun, but then neither is Putin.

    Liked by 3 people

    Reply

  12. Damn fine Republican you will make. You will go far with this strategy.

    If you need help with all of the money the idjits, I mean fine xian people will be throwing your way let me know 😉

    I am not interested in the luggage boy position, so let’s get that straight right off the bat. 😂

    Liked by 4 people

    Reply

  13. Finally, some honesty from the far-right! How refreshing!

    Liked by 3 people

    Reply

  14. Someday, someone will be so mad to campaign on something close to this

    Liked by 5 people

    Reply

  16. The evangelicals and fundies are gonna love you. They’ll say you’re so much like trump, their idol, because you tell it like it is and say what you mean.

    On a serious note..this article tells you just how sick these far right religious people are and why they support trump and (will support you.😜)

    https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/magazine/jerry-falwell-jr-cant-imagine-trump-doing-anything-thats-not-good-for-the-country/2018/12/21/6affc4c4-f19e-11e8-80d0-f7e1948d55f4_story.html?utm_term=.9407acfff90e

    Liked by 4 people

    Reply

  18. I presume you will concentrate your campaign efforts in the Deep South?

    Liked by 6 people

    Reply

  19. The senate? You should be running for the presidency! xxxxx

    Liked by 3 people

    Reply

  20. Dang this is inspired! Think of the money. Once you file to be a candidate you can collect donations. They are yours forever even if you lose. You can use the money to bribe other politicians to work for your cause. Plus before you gass anyone you can tax them extra for breathing and stuff. Then gas them and charge their estate or life insurance. It will turn the economy around and save the nation. Hallelujah we be saved. 😜😜😜🤣😂😁😉
    Hugs

    Liked by 3 people

    Reply

  22. Careful … you can have your tongue so far in your cheek that you can end up biting it. Some fool will flounce along and believe your are being truthful.

    Liked by 3 people

    Reply

Comments can be left for free, but cost $7.50 to take.

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.