Six Things You Don’t Want To Hear From Your Doctor.

“Trust Me. Everything Will Be A-Okay!”

1.)  I’ve never used duct tape for this type of procedure before, but, like they say, there’s a first time for everything.

2.)  Well, Mr. Smith, I’m sorry to inform you, but, from now on, you’ll have to pee sitting down.

3.)  Now, don’t move.  I’ll need to keep my hand up here for about ten minutes or we’ll need to start all over.

4.)  No, it is NOT supposed to be that color?

5.)  There’s a 65% chance you’ll still be able to have sex after this.

6.)  Ms. Johnson, the next time I have to remove one of these from you, I’m going to notify PETA.

 

 

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14 thoughts on “Six Things You Don’t Want To Hear From Your Doctor.

  1. #8: What do you want to hear first, the good news or the bad news?

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Not to undermine your hilarious post.

    True Story:

    My father developed a knee problem because of his golf stance and was recommended to an orthopedic surgeon to sort him out.
    He was at the doc’s the day before he was due to go to clinic for surgery just to ”walk him through” procedure.
    During the conversation the surgeon casually mentioned that he probably wouldn’t be able to put any sort of pressure on his right knee for at least a fortnight.
    It was at that point my father felt it prudent to mention to the bloke that it was, in fact , his left knee that was supposed to be operated on.

    After coming home, dad decided it rethink the op. and after phoning me to share this gem, and based on my running, I suggested he went to a physio. After a month, his knee was, in his words, ”Right as nine-pence.”

    Liked by 2 people

    • Yeah. Scary stuff. I’m sure it happens where entire surgeries are performed on the wrong limb/organ. Luckily your father found out before the surgery that there was confusion over which knee was going to be operated on. There are some truly idjit-like doctors out there. Our own wonderful neurosurgeon, Ben Carson, actually believes the pyramids were built by the biblical Joseph as grain storage units. I don’t know about you, but that is NOT someone who should ever go NEAR a scalpel, or a child.

      Liked by 1 person

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