I received a working lightsaber for Christmas last year. Here are some things I probably shouldn’t have used it for.

My Lightsaber
1.) Opening a can of tuna.
2.) Cleaning the wax out of my ears.
3.) Brushing my hamster.
4.) Chasing a group of young ruffians off of my lawn.
5.) A vibrator.
6.) Knocking on my neighbor’s door.
7.) Filling out my income taxes.
8.) Wiping my butt after going #2.
9.) Eating spaghetti.
10.) Proposing to my girlfriend.
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Yeah, might wanna think twice before trying those again…
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Oh, believe me, I have.
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It’s probably unwise to use any one object for all ten of those purposes, regardless of what the object is.
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Oh, I don’t know. Duct tape can be used for everything from stopping a leaky sink to a bikini waving quite effectively. 🙂
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I’m trying to visualize how one would use duct tape for (#10) proposing to one’s girlfriend. The thought is a tad disconcerting.
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Trust me, it ain’t easy!
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PS: I’m not sure why I’d ever need to wave a bikini, but if I did, I think I could do so without duct tape or even a light saber.
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Use a rope. It’s not as sticky.
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I just want to know after #5. Are you ok?
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Yeah, butt just by the hairs on my arse!
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#5, definately.
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Tell me about it! Nice to see Trump, Vlady Putin and the Saudi Prince sucking each other’s dicks at the G20 summit. 2 powerful, disgusting dictators, and a little beta-boy dictator wanna be.
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They have so much on him, don’t they? It’s really quite sad (and I mean that) to see an American president being humiliated in such a way. So much good being pissed down a drain.
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It is very sad and embarrassing.
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what is sad is all his defenders. all the people that attack the messenger (fake news). what is sad is his attacks on law enforcement and on victims. Dr Ford for example. last i checked she had to move 4 times and have perm. security. that is what is fucking sad.
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Agreed. The man is a living disgrace. Never could I have ever imagined a person so thoroughly repugnant.
Have you seen this: “White Evangelicals, This is Why People Are Through With You”
https://johnpavlovitz.com/2018/01/24/white-evangelicals-people/?utm_campaign=coschedule&utm_source=twitter&utm_medium=johnpavlovitz
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Great post. Spot on!
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Nailed it, I agree.
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i agree. unimaginable horrible. hadn’t seen that. john pavlovitz. just took a look. thanks
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Yeah, all that probably wasn’t a good way to use your new lightsaber. Love the color choice, though!
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That’s Luke’s saber!
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