Robert The Reviewer: The Critical Scotsman

I created this character a few years ago and have decided to re-visit him by re-posting this piece. I like everything Scottish for some reason.

The Arm Chair Pontificator

TACP is proud to welcome Robert the Reviewer to our team of ace reporters. He is joining us from Edinburgh, Scotland where he’s worked as a media critic for several years. He was recently let go from his position as Ace Media Critic at the Edinburgh Times after it was discovered he’d actually never seen any of the movies he reviewed or read any of the books he critiqued. He simply parroted what he heard others say about whatever it was he was reviewing or flat-out made up a review based on something entirely unrelated. Well, we here at TACP admire he’s gusto and his brogue, so we hired him to review movies and books for our readers and have encouraged him NOT to see or read them before hand. In a society filled with people who rarely bother with details, like checking the facts before expounding on a topic…

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6 thoughts on “Robert The Reviewer: The Critical Scotsman

  1. “The Elusive And Deadly Haggis” – love it! I’m fond of the Scots too. As a kid, I was sort of adopted by a Scottish-Canadian-American family (my best friend’s). His mom would make Yorkshire pudding a lot – it’s delicious. They were quite sexually repressed, though, probably because of their religion.

    Liked by 2 people

    • I fell in love with the Scots because of Braveheart. I read and studied a lot of their history after watching that movie. Wanted to see what in it was true and what was made up for the movie. I love the accent, too.

      Liked by 2 people

    • Great movie, but the way it depicted the Battle of Stirling Bridge was pure fiction. Where was the bridge where the actual battle took place?

      Liked by 2 people

    • That’s one of MANY historical inaccuracies in that film. Gibson was almost 40 when he played the role, and in reality, Braveheart would have been MAYBE 18 or 19 when all that took place. In order to get to direct the film, the producers insisted he be in it, too, as, at the time, his name was big box office. Also, Braveheart never met Robert the Bruce in real life. Doesn’t matter to me as it’s just a movie, and one which inspired me to learn more about the actual history of the events depicted in it. Shakespeare took great liberty with history in the history plays he wrote,too. I mean HUGE amounts of it. It’s what story-tellers do–they tell good stories. Thus, when I see “historical” movies and/or plays, I assume EVERYTHING I’m seeing is exaggerated truth and/or an outright fabrication of reality. It is fun to look up the “true” history” afterward, though, and do some learnin’.

      Liked by 2 people

    • Ohhhh BUGGER-EXCREMENT on both of you!!! “FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE…

      DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUMB!!!!!!!”

      Btw, glad to make your acquaintance Robert the Reviewer and keep your wandering eyes on your OWN kilt! 😉

      Liked by 2 people

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