Trump Pardons Self After Farting In White House

Poo-Poo Town, North Dakota.    Donald Trump pardoned himself after farting loudly in a busy corridor of the White House this morning.  “Yeah, I blasted a good one, if I must say so myself,” Trump said earlier.  “I had Chipotle burritos for dinner last night, and the things were LOADED with gas-producing pinto beans.  Don’t get me wrong, they tasted great, but they almost immediately turned to toxic fart gas in my colon after I ate ’em.  So, I pardon myself for blasting smelly farts this morning in the White House that literally had people running for the doors to get fresh air.   Like my Pops used to say to me, ‘Lil Donny,’ he’d say, ‘make sure you say, pardon me, after you blast smelly farts in public or people might think you’re rude.  And that, ‘Lil Donny, is something you never, ever want people to think about you.'”

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19 thoughts on “Trump Pardons Self After Farting In White House

  1. Pretty sure this would violate international agreements on the use of chemical weapons. Just hope he never does it around an open flame.

    In British slang the word “trump” actually means “fart”. Very fitting.

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  2. Who would want Trump in their country

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  3. (with happy orange hands in the air the POTUS opens his middle school mouth)

    And we don’t need no stinking NFL Championship Philly Eagles at the White House! Cuz stayin in the locker room is just as disrespectful and unpatriotic to our women & men in our armed services as not standing to the Nat’l Anthem! 🤢 🤮

    😒 Can we PLUG ALL HOLES in that man!?

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  4. Hope he doesn’t drop his guts when he meets our Queen, poor old girl, probably finish her off, mind you Charlie will probably stuff him full with greens ‘n beans.

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  5. That he could think it and say it loudly, is for me, quite strange

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    • He doesn’t care because the Repukes simply will do nothing to check him. It’s disgusting. Fucking traitors, the lot of ’em. What happened to your post about the holocaust denier running for Congress in Illinois? Did you delete it?

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  6. Constitution, meet Crisis. Crisis, this is Constitution.

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  7. Ha, ha! Where did you find that awesome image?

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