Inerrant Rantings Of An Entirely Sane Pontificator

Here are two recent, perfectly inerrant, logical, and anger free rants I recently had in response to comments from Trump supporters and religious nutters on another blog.   I’m hoping these finally get the Nobel Committee to give me my friggin’ Nobel Prize.

1.)  As a flat earth creationist, I must say, I LOVE Trump. Since his election the world has become younger and flatter almost by the hour. Thanks to one of the most devout Christians to ever hold the title of President, the love of the Lord Jesus Christ has embraced America, and soon we’ll have what I’ve always wanted: a fully functioning Christian theocracy where any and all who do not properly worship Our True Lord, Jesus Christ, will be physically put on a boat and shipped to the Middle East where they belong.  I’m personally writing Trump’s mentor, Vladimir Putin, a long letter thanking him for helping Trump make America great again, just like it was in 1952 when Our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ was President. Well, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to the Mexican border to use my body as a human shield to keep Mexicans out of my country until Trump gets Mexico to pay for the border wall to end all border walls.  It’s the only way to keep America truly safe from Hispanic rapists and hoodlums.  $Amen$

2.)  Open borders are the best. Christ, I say build a friggin’ cement highway across the Atlantic to Europe and let EVERY Mooslim there drive on over in horse-drawn carriages.  We need ’em fer target practice, the thievin’ buggers.
Taxes?  Who needs the Dems for that, the rat, snowflake bums.  Christ, the omnibus bill the Republicans/Russians just passed and Putin’s lil puppet, President Donny Bone-Spurs, just signed, jacked up our deficit by what,1.8 trillion or so? I mean COME ON, that’s got Libtard/Democrat written ALL over it.  But I’m bettin’ Draft Dodge Don and his Russian/Republicans can do better than that!  Why not put 8 or 9 trillion more onto that spending bill and give a 95% tax cut to the rich to jack the debt up another 6 or 7 trillion?  It’ll make ya feel all warm ‘n Democrat-like inside.  It will me at least

The GOP, Ya’ Gotta Love ‘Em!

And hell, we actually need to beg more people to cross our borders.  Man, just last night, I shot and killed 56 German and Polish illegals who were trying to kick in my front door.  A-holes wanted food or some such crap.  Can you believe that?  As well, I’ve been attacked by, like, I don’t know, 89 Mexican and Italian illegals in the last month alone.  They said, in really broken English, mind you, that they wanted to grab some pussy like lil Donny does and wanted me to show ’em how. ‘Course, I shot ‘n killed the bastards.  Ain’t no friggin’ illegal som’bitch gonna talk to me about pussy-grabbin’.  That’s for American Presidents alone to do.  Ha! I sure showed them.  So, let ’em keep on comin’ over.  I like shootin’ ’em.  Makes me almost as happy as kickin’ Dems in their privates.  Almost, but not quite.  BANG!  Gotcha, ya’ friggin’ illegal bastard, ya’.

 

May the love of Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, the ONE TRUE GOD, be with everyone out there.  May His Holy Arms wrap over you and bring you freedom from Republican omnibus bills, pussy-grabbers, traitorous political parties in line with Russian oligarchs, and deficit raisin’ conservatives who’ve lately made even the wildest, leftist Democrats look like Ronald Reagan. $Amen$

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24 thoughts on “Inerrant Rantings Of An Entirely Sane Pontificator

  1. Y’know there are folk out there who will post up replies of support and salute you as someone who they would vote for you after Trump has ascended to the Great Tax-Dodge in the Sky.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Forget the Nobel Prize. You deserve the Edward R. Murrow award for excellence in broadcast journalism!

    Italian illegals… they’re the worst! One burst into my house once loaded with bottles of Dago Red, made a huge pizza in my kitchen, and began singing C’è la luna mezzo mare!

    Oh, wait… that was me. Never mind.

    Like

    • 😀 Yep. And don’t even get me started on the friggin’ Swiss! UGH!!! Some drink to blow off steam; others do drugs, and some start physical fights with people to do it. Me, I write angry sarcastic shit about Trump, conservatives, and illegal Italian immigrants. We all gotta do what we gotta do. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

    • The Swiss… all that yodeling! 😀

      Like

    • And what they do to their cheese is outright criminal. Did you see Pence on MSNBC saying it’s time to end the Mueller investigation? Of course it is, you jackass! It’s getting closer and closer to YOU perhaps. Man, the corruption and contempt for our government shown by Trump and his GOP minions is shocking. Truly, truly shocking, and very, very bad.

      Liked by 2 people

    • No, I didn’t see Pence’s unsurprising remarks; but, I just read a story about Trump’s expected opposition to CNN’s merger plans… and, get this… his lawyer Michael Cohen is getting paid $600,000 to advise CNN on it!

      Like

    • HA! Jesus, this is such an incredible mess you really could not make it up. I think Trump will try to distance himself from Cohen and say, “Oh, I had NO idea he was doing all that stuff and I’ve NO idea WHAT all the money was for or where it went or is now.” Problem is, if he does that, he risks angering Cohen and encouraging him to flip. Yep, this is really, really something else to see. It gives me a deep feeling of dread deep down in my soul.

      Liked by 1 person

    • Yes, it’s a cesspool of corruption.

      Slight correction and more info on the CNN story: The merger plans involve CNN’s parent company Time Warner and AT&T. Cohen’s hiring as an advisor was a secret that got out. Today, AT&T CEO Randall Stephenson said that hiring him was a “big mistake.”

      Like

    • Of course it was. People now found out they did it. Man, the murk that Trump and Cohen are involved in has got to be something spectacular.

      Liked by 1 person

    • Thing is … the chances of this type of thing being unique to tRumpsky and his cohorts is highly doubtful. The two of them just happen to be the ones in the spotlight. There’s one verse in the “Good Book” that I’ve always liked … “Men love darkness rather than light because their deeds are evil.”

      Like

    • Oh, it isn’t unique to them. What IS unique is tRump running on the promise to “CLEAR THE SWAMP” in Washington and now we find out he is one of the the biggest creatures that swamp ever produced. And, he’s now filled it with septic tank monsters rather than crocodiles. Also, there’s more here that’s not yet been reveled. The search warrant that the feds got to beak into Cohen’s offices and home was not given just because of routine money swapping and backroom political b.s. The feds have evidence of a major crime being committed. That was a YUUUGE deal.
      We’ll see where this goes. I still think Republicans will sweep in November, Mueller and Rosenstein will be fired, and absolutely nothing will happen to Trump or his family as a result of all this. People in America just do not seem to care enough–at least not enough of them anyway. And far too many actually love what Trump is doing and what he stands for. I’m really hoping I’m wrong, but, for Christ’s sake, the entire GOP is helping Trump “f” with this investigation and case. What Pence did today is horrid. We’re in deep, deep poo poo, I think.

      Liked by 1 person

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