Hollywood California. Because of the great success of the movie Black Panther, now in theaters, Donald Trump has decided to make a movie about himself called Orange Panther. “Look,” President Trump said earlier today, “black people are not the only minorities out there who want to see themselves represented on screen in movies. As an orange person, I find it rather offensive that people of my color aren’t represented more in films. I’ve lived most of my life as if I were a super hero anyway, so making a super hero movie about it will be easy. Throughout my life, as I’ve dealt with great prejudice due to my skin color, I’ve always fought crime wherever and whenever it reared its ugly head. Many do not know this, but I was born with the speed and agility of a cat. The minute I came out of my mother’s womb, I leapt about the hospital delivery room looking for a litter box as if I were a cat that greatly needed to pee. As a toddler, I fought evil in my preschool by scratching out the eyes of any kid who crossed me. Now, as a grown up, I often dress up in my super-duper powered cat suit to stop people from having premarital sex. I stealthily walk along the outside ledges of skyscrapers peeking into bedroom windows in search of unwed people having sex. When I find them, I use my super cat vision to check their fingers for wedding rings. If they’re not wearing them, I crash through the window, pee on the culprits with my super powered cat-scented pee, then leap back out of the broken window hissing like the kitty cat I am.
So, as you can see, I’ve already been living the life of a super hero in my day-to-day life ever since I was a youth. To make the film, I’ll simply have a camera man follow me about on my late night crime fighting adventures and film them as they happen–reality TV meets the super hero genre, BIGLY TIME! I already have the cat suit, the powers, and I’m orange, so special effects will not be needed. I’m hoping to release the movie on October 31st so it can open on Halloween. Cats are really popular on that day, so the movie will make tons of money. It is time for orange people to be represented in films, and, by God, I’m going to be the one to do it. So clear your calendar for Halloween of this year because it’s gonna be a historic moment in film you will not want to miss. MEOW!!