New England Patriots Fan Cries After God Allows Eagles To Win Super Bowl
Foxborough, Massachusetts. New England Patriots fans are saddened today because God announced he favored the Eagles in last night’s Super Bowl, and that’s why they won. “Yeah,” God said earlier, “the Patriots and their fans just didn’t pray hard enough for me to allow them to win this year. The Eagles and the folks in Philly prayed and worshiped my ass SO much longer and harder I just couldn’t let them lose. Lots of Catholics in Philadelphia, too, and that’s NEVER a bad thing. (My son’s a Catholic, FYI). As well, the New England area is starting to crawl with atheists, and there’s no way in the Hell I created that I’m NOT gonna punish THAT sh*t–big time! Of course, just to f**k with Patriots fans, I let the game stay close enough for Tom Brady to pull off one his miracle comebacks before making him fumble the ball so the Eagles could recover and score an additional field goal. Ha, ha, ha! That was a riot. Brady’s a Trump supporter, too, and I HATE that guy, so there’s another reason I let the Eagles win. Yeah, Tom wants to help Trump make America great again cause it’s been just so awful for him living in it. Right, bite me. Any-who, I gotta run. There are a few famines and plagues I’m cooking up to smack Africa with and those take time to do right or they won’t kill and make enough people suffer. We couldn’t let THAT happen now, could we?”
The Arm Chair Pontificator 
Now that I think of it, it really has been tough for Trump, growing up in poverty, having to work his way up the billionaire ladder and finally achieving “grabbing” status.
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Poor guy. It makes you weep for him.
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God is just discriminating against guys with funny shaped balls and crash helmets.
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Sounds about right.
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Before deciding who to let win does god check with his accounting department to see which side gave him the most donations and collections? It could be that the losing team couldn’t come up with the proper bribe? Hey the tRump administration at work. Hugs
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Makes sense to me. 🙂
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hahahaha!!! Love your satire my friend.
I didn’t know ‘Tom Brady’ was a trump support.
For the life of me, I don’t keep up with Football. But you’ve painted a truth that I will forever laugh about. hahahaha!!!
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Thanks. I’ll pray for you to become more enlightened about football. 🙂
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Prayer won’t work on me. If you tell George Carlin to change my mind about Football then I’ll pray to him. hahahaha!!!
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That guy was great. I miss him.
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I miss him too as well. 🙂 It was either him or, pray to joe pesci. hahahaha!!!
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Another awesome guy!
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🙂
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God has some serious anger management issues, but we already knew that. Still, in this case, I support him because… EVERYONE HAS HAD ENOUGH OF THE STINKING PATRIOTS!!!
Oh, I forgot to mention that the S.F. 49ers now have Brady’s superb backup Jimmy Garoppolo and are making a huge comeback! 😀
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Really? He’s great. The QB who took over this year for the Eagles is damn good, too. He’s a starter wherever he goes.
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Yeah, Nick Foles played way beyond expectations. He’s got a huge payday coming soon!
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I love this! Thank you
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Thanks for reading. 🙂
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I always like New England….to lose. I have two favorite teams. Seattle Seahawks and whoever is playing NewEngland.
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It was nice to see calls go the way of the Eagles. Usually, the Pats seem to have everything called their way. Hopefully this is now the end of ’em. Let other teams win. However, as much as I hate them, I believe Brady is the best to ever play the game and the Pats the best team. What they’ve done for almost two decades in a league filled with such parity is amazing. But I still hate ’em. 🙂
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They are a good team no doubt. The best ever is hard to admit, but true. Brady is incredible! 505 yards. Are you kidding me?
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It’s insane. 5 Super Bowl wins and what is it 8 or 9 appearances in the big game in the past 18 years is just nuts. This won’t happen again. Well, if the Bears do it, OK. But not any other team. 🙂
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Lol. Good luck. Maybe will happen after the resurrection.
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I doubt even having the resurrected Christ as their QB would help the Bears. Day gots a LONG wat ta’ go!
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Snatching defeat out of the jaws of victory!
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Maybe if Moses were the coach…Now, there’s a idea!
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If the Patriot fans will just repeat after Tim Tebow: I’ll always use the negativity as more motivation to work even harder and become even stronger. … then there’s simply no doubt they’ll win next year!
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Just like Tebow winning all those Super Bowls…..wait…..never mind. Guess God doesn’t love him enough. STUPIDITY!!!
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good should not have favorites
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But “bad” sure seems to stick it to a lot of people. 🙂
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Who were you rooting for?
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Anyone but the Patriots. 🙂
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I see. Apart from that, which team do you start out the season rooting for?
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The Chicago Bears. BTW, please pray for them. They need all the help they can get. I am impressed by their young quarterback, however. God willing, he’ll play well next year. 🙂
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