God Abandons Patriots–Eagles Win Super Bowl

New England Patriots Fan Cries After God Allows Eagles To Win Super Bowl

Foxborough, Massachusetts.    New England Patriots fans are saddened today because God announced he favored the Eagles in last night’s Super Bowl, and that’s why they won.   “Yeah,” God said earlier, “the Patriots and their fans just didn’t pray hard enough for me to allow them to win this year.  The Eagles and the folks in Philly prayed and worshiped my ass SO much longer and harder I just couldn’t let them lose.  Lots of Catholics in Philadelphia, too, and that’s NEVER a bad thing. (My son’s a Catholic, FYI).  As well, the New England area is starting to crawl with atheists, and there’s no way in the Hell I created that I’m NOT gonna punish THAT sh*t–big time!   Of course, just to f**k with Patriots fans, I let the game stay close enough for Tom Brady to pull off one his miracle comebacks before making him fumble the ball so the Eagles could recover and score an additional field goal.  Ha, ha, ha!  That was a riot.  Brady’s a Trump supporter, too, and I HATE that guy, so there’s another reason I let the Eagles win.   Yeah, Tom wants to help Trump make America great again cause it’s been just so awful for him living in it.  Right, bite me.   Any-who, I gotta run.  There are a few famines and plagues I’m cooking up to smack Africa with and those take time to do right or they won’t kill and make enough people suffer.  We couldn’t let THAT happen now, could we?”

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34 thoughts on “God Abandons Patriots–Eagles Win Super Bowl

  1. Now that I think of it, it really has been tough for Trump, growing up in poverty, having to work his way up the billionaire ladder and finally achieving “grabbing” status.

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  2. God is just discriminating against guys with funny shaped balls and crash helmets.

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  3. Before deciding who to let win does god check with his accounting department to see which side gave him the most donations and collections? It could be that the losing team couldn’t come up with the proper bribe? Hey the tRump administration at work. Hugs

    Liked by 1 person

  4. hahahaha!!! Love your satire my friend.

    I didn’t know ‘Tom Brady’ was a trump support.
    For the life of me, I don’t keep up with Football. But you’ve painted a truth that I will forever laugh about. hahahaha!!!

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  5. God has some serious anger management issues, but we already knew that. Still, in this case, I support him because… EVERYONE HAS HAD ENOUGH OF THE STINKING PATRIOTS!!!

    Oh, I forgot to mention that the S.F. 49ers now have Brady’s superb backup Jimmy Garoppolo and are making a huge comeback! 😀

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  6. I always like New England….to lose. I have two favorite teams. Seattle Seahawks and whoever is playing NewEngland.

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  7. If the Patriot fans will just repeat after Tim Tebow: I’ll always use the negativity as more motivation to work even harder and become even stronger. … then there’s simply no doubt they’ll win next year!

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  8. good should not have favorites

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