Trump To Enact Pilgrim Travel Ban

Pilgrims Like These Will Soon Be Banned From Entering America

Plymouth Rock, Massachusetts.    Donald Trump today announced he is implementing a pilgrim travel ban that will go into effect the day before Thanksgiving.   “Look,” President Trump said earlier, “we all can agree that the original pilgrims who came to America were bad hombres.   Our great nation has not been the same since their arrival.  When rapists and genocidal maniacs are allowed to enter a country, nothing good can come from it.  Thus, I’m enacting a pilgrim travel ban to stop any future pilgrims from entering and polluting our country like the first pilgrims did back in the day.   I’m also calling for a great big wall to be built all around America to detour any pilgrims from trying to illegally enter the country and sell drugs to our children.   Thanksgiving is a day for Americans to celebrate American values and eat turkey.  It is NOT a day to celebrate pilgrims and the anti-American sentiments they represent.   The ban will go into effect on midnight the day before Thanksgiving.   If anyone sees any pilgrims after the ban goes into effect, please notify your local authorities so they can be promptly arrested and sent back to whatever rock it is they crawled out from.  Happy Thanksgiving, and may the all-loving arms of Our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, keep you and your family safe and free of pilgrims throughout this holiday season.”

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20 thoughts on “Trump To Enact Pilgrim Travel Ban

  1. Now, y’ see if it was anyone else but Trump I’d be applauding you for your witty parody. But sitting here in the UK, I’m not sure whether you are just reporting something he actually said.
    Please clarify
    Thanks
    PS: We have Boris Johnson, so you can appreciate my dilemma

    Like

  2. Is he not late by at least 300 years?

    Like

  3. I saw a bunch of pilgrims earlier today, can I call the police now? I know it’s a little early, but do you think Trump would mind if I got the ball rolling sooner rather than later on sending them pilgrims back to another rock somewheres else? LOL!

    I love this one!

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  4. We discovered something about Trump today; he doesn’t trust his hands to get a bottle of water to his mouth.

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  5. Hey … I have an idea. Let’s all get together and ban tRumpsky from this planet. Hell! While we’re at it, let’s kick him clear out of the universe!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I propose a travel ban on anyone trying to enter the US from Alabama!

    Liked by 4 people

  7. Pilgrims, Quakers, and Puritans.. oh, my!

    Like

  8. And he should also impose a travel ban on clovis people, as they will hunt mammoths to extinction…

    Liked by 2 people

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