Trump Fires Ivanka; Hires Rudy Giuliani As Daughter

President Trump’s New Daughter, Rudy Giuliani

‘Lil Hands, Iowa.   In stunning news today, even for the Trump White House, President Trump announced he has fired his daughter Ivanka from the job of being his daughter, supposedly over “creative differences,” and replaced her with former New York City Mayor, Rudy Giuliani.   “I’m both honored and flattered that President Trump has decided to hire me as his new daughter,” Giuliani said earlier.  “I’ve always dreamed of a day when I might be a blushing wife married to a handsome man like Jared Kushner.   I promise to be as faithful and honest to him as I will be to my new pops, Donald Trump.   Ivanka was a beautiful woman, but, apparently, she was not a very loyal daughter, a mistake I vow never to make.   Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to pick out a dress to wear tonight.  I’m having dinner with Donald and Melania and I want to look my best!”   *As a side note, Jared Kushner has thus far refused to comment on this stupendously unusual occurrence.

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18 thoughts on “Trump Fires Ivanka; Hires Rudy Giuliani As Daughter

  1. Pingback: Ha ha! | cornfedcontessa

  2. Hahahaha! I wish this were real news, real-life events!

    Oh wait, it actually could be very real given the circus at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave NW, Washington, DC, huh!? What tha F*CK was I thinkin’? 😛

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  3. The WH is a circus or on the road to being one. And it is entertaining from afar. I don’t know how it feels at home

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  4. Talk about your cinderella curse, poor Jared at midnight his dream girl turned into a grizzled old man. Hugs

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  5. Until….

    But hey, now he can fuck her and not feel that same twang of this probably isn’t right which he’s had in the past.

    (good grief, can you actually believe I made a plausible joke about the current President of the United States? Not good. Not good at all)

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