Nobel Prize Committee After Me In Witch Hunt

These Bastards Are On A Witch Hunt To Discredit My Self-Awarded Nobel Prize

Never in history has a self-awarded Nobel Prize winner been more persecuted than I.   For four years now the Nobel Prize Committee has outright refused to acknowledge my self-awarded prize.   They turn me away when I drop by their homes unannounced, and they threaten me with legal action when I run naked through their children’s schools carrying a sign that reads, “Fuck The Nobel Prize Committee And Their Kids!”

They’ve now stepped up their game of intimidation against me by sending drones to spy on me.  It was bad enough when they asked the FBI to appoint a special prosecutor to look into my repeated prank phone calls to Committee members and their families, but sending spy drones to follow me day and night is something I simply will not sit still for.   Until the Committee stops this harassment of me and recognizes my self-awarded Nobel Prize, I will make it my life’s duty to have pizza’s delivered to their homes that they didn’t order and whine like a spoiled brat to the media about how awful they are to me every chance I get.  This IS going end, you stinking bastards, and it’s going to end with me getting the recognition from you I deserve.  You can count on it!

Well, on second thought, maybe it won’t work out.  But that’s OK because, if it doesn’t, I can always become POTUS.  Americans will elect anyone these days.

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16 thoughts on “Nobel Prize Committee After Me In Witch Hunt

  1. You got my vote, especially on your build a wall around Texas and then isolate the Rethugs platform. I have to wonder if that many R’s in one place is safe. There could be some sort of mighty bullshit explosion! I guess don’t let them have any matches… oh wait! give them lots of matches 🙂

    Got my vote on the Nobel too. Those bastards!

  2. You may need doubles to distract the drones.

  3. When your elected, what will be your platform and do you have an ideal cabinet picked out? Happy prize winning to you. Hugs

    • It better be. 🙂 BTW, Brazilian politics these days are just as juicy as ours. Not as potentially dangerous in a global nuclear war kinda way, but seriously fucked up. 🙂

    • Absolutely. In fact, it leaves US politics for dead. Saw a tweet yesterday which sums it up nicely:

      [UNITED STATES]: Our president might be impeached because of an alleged handwritten memo implying crime

      [BRAZIL]: Hold my beer

    • Oh, Herr tRump’s gonna have a whole list ‘o shit that gets him out when all’s said and done. Hopefully it’s gonna be soon.

  4. Nuke ’em, I say. Hit them with the same dynamite with which Nobel made all his money, HA!

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