Traitor Don’s, Moscow, Russia
Gary, Indiana. President Trump announced today that he’s opened a new department store in Moscow, Russia. “It’s the bigly-est department store ever,” President Trump said earlier. “It’s called Traitor Don’s, and it represents what can happen when an entire political party puts its own interests above those of its country. The amount of money I, and my sycophants in the GOP, will make from this store is almost limitless. We Republicans will use the store to sell America’s most sensitive secrets to every Russian citizen who wishes to purchase them. We’ve already made over 75 thousand t-shirts with America’s nuclear codes printed on them which, at this very moment, are selling like bowls of hot borscht for the nominal fee of 15 rubles. They come in red, white, or blue in honor of all those who sacrificed to make America the great land it is today.
The store also features a large entertainment section where Russians can purchase Blu-Ray DVD’s of Paul Ryan, Mitch McConnell and me, Donald J. Trump, singing such songs such as, I Am A Traitor To My Country, and Vladimir Putin, We Love You Tender. All the proceeds from the store go to help the wealthiest Republican families in America become richer, fatter, and more vile than any middle or working class American ever thought possible.
If you are an American planning a trip to Russia, please make sure to stop by Traitor Don’s and watch as your country is sold, bit by bit, to an adversarial foreign power. And remember, it’s all perfectly fine because it’s the Republican Party doing it. God bless America, and God bless freedom.”
The Arm Chair Pontificator 
Would it be OK if I cross-posted this articleg to WriterBeat.com? I’ll be sure to give you complete credit as the author. There is no fee, I’m simply trying to add more content diversity for our community and I liked what you wrote. If “OK” please let me know via email.
Autumn
AutumnCote@WriterBeat.com
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Sure thing.
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Ya know, for a man who loves to “talk bigly”… he damn sure doesn’t have the bigly vocabulary to match his D.C. position, nor his social status. And that right there speaks VOLUMES of his I.Q. (face palm shaking my head)
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His I.Q. is, I’m quite certain, far smaller than his tiny, tiny hands.
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I’ve had middle schoolers that could speak — and THINK — at higher levels than he does. When he tries hard to appear intelligent (too hard?), his brain overheates, it obviously strains him; just look at his face! — and it obviously starts loosing nuts-n-bolts so he goes back into middle school words. LOL 😛
Yet, it is honestly very sad. Yes world, that’s our Commander-and-Chief. 😦
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And he STILL has cult-like supporters who are standing behind him as he betrays our country by repeatedly kissing Putin’s ass. The man is a fucking pig.
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Yes. And this middle schooler’s behavior and lack of higher intelligence also reflects on one Party’s intelligence and any voters who voted for him. That is what I find the most shameful for Americans. 😦
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I agree.
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Of course I’m smirking as I read this. The saddest thing ever is that it’s so fucking real. I think it’s time the Repubs retired their party for good.
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Indeed. I say we wall off Texas and dump the whole lot of ’em inside it. We can give them a few dollar bills so they’ll have something to fight over.
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Give ’em some Monopoly money – good enough.
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True.
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I love the way you put things. Sometimes it’s really hard to find the funny in a situation. Thanks for the laugh!
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Thank you for reading. 🙂
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…And for a short time only, FREE CLASSIFIED INFORMATION!!!
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To be found in the produce section. My country is run by FUCK HEADS!!!
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I know now why Vlad was playing the piano yesterday 🙂
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To show his joy over tRump’s slavery to him.
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Spot on. Well you got to remember Hillary did something with email. So she was really dangerous. 🙂 but seriously, I can’t understand how the hate Russia crowd so quickly and easily became Russia supporters just because of the traitor tRump. Ryan, McConnell, the whole pack of them are selling the country out. angry hugs
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To quote the old woman who lives next door to me, “I fuckin’ hate Republicans.”
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I heard that a sign will be posted above the entrance to Traitor Don’s which will read: “LESBIANS, GAYS, BISEXUALS, TRANSGENDERS, TRANSSEXUALS, and TRANSVESTITES are NOT ALLOWED.”
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But of course.
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Atheists and Muslims also not allowed. And because they have the intelligence of moths, that will include you too, Bob.
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Ha, ha! Yes, I do have the intelligence of a moth even though I’m neither atheist nor Muslim. But, that wouldn’t matter to Traitor Don’s because agnostics are scum too! 🙂
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BTW, Noel, you might like this story: https://talesfromtheloublog.wordpress.com/2017/05/16/pastor-tries-to-walk-on-water-like-jesus-but-gets-eaten-by-crocodiles-instead/
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Love it!
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Haha
Now that’s the problem of taking things literally, especially when they are written in a buy ble
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