04.13.17
by

Others Are The Problem, New Study Finds

Those People Over There Are The Problem!

Acceptance Village, Alabama.   A new study conducted by Professor Iblameyou of the University of Chicago was released today which found that all of the problems in the world today are caused by other people.   “These results are amazing,” said Professor Iblameyou.  “I surveyed over two thousand people from every part of the globe over the past three years and found, every time, that people blame other people for everything wrong with the world and with themselves.  Clearly, these results indicate that the problem of other people is plague-like and simply must be eradicated before life on earth comes to a screeching halt.   I would have released these results sooner, but the assistant I had working with me on the project was rather slow in putting the data I gave her together so I had to delay publishing this report.  Last time I’ll work with her, I tell you that.

My study also found that when groups of other people act together, they’re even more damaging than when they act alone.   Sometimes other people will form into groups, or countries even, that are very different from you and yours.  When this happens, chaos ensues.  These “other” groups start to act as if they’re as good as you and your group.  Name-calling almost always follows.  Fighting follows this, and soon, full-scale wars have erupted.   We must act now to end the problem of others, a.k.a. those people over there.  I’ve started an online group called End All Others Now.  Our purpose is to make all others become just like us for the sake of the planet and all humanity.  You can join the group at othersblow.com for the nominal fee of 50 dollars.  Hope to see you all join – unless, of course, you’re one of them.  If that’s the case, don’t bother because you’re not part of the solution, you’re the problem.”

35 thoughts on “Others Are The Problem, New Study Finds”

  1. Well of course it’s other people! It’s ALWAYS other people 😉

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  2. Would it be OK if I cross-posted this a6rticle to WriterBeat.com? I’ll be sure to give you complete credit as the author. There is no fee, I’m simply trying to add more content diversity for our community and I liked what you wrote. If “OK” please respond via email.

    Autumn
    AutumnCote@WriterBeat.com

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  4. I knew it! :/ Other bloody people! I knew it was them!

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  7. Ummm, this is not a joke right? This is actual and factual true-blue thinking that is now epidemic so I HOPE this isn’t satire and is truly a reflection of several/many human groups… RIGHT!!!? 😛 😉

    Hahahahaha!

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  9. Seriously, no truer words have ever been spoken. The mentality of blaming others, while absolving oneself of all responsibility, was addressed by satirist P. J. O’Rourke (surprisingly, a lifelong Republican) at the Commonwealth Club after the election:

    “America is experiencing the most severe outbreak of mass psychosis since the Salem witch trials of 1692.”

    Liked by 1 person

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    • Could not agree more. Why should I blame myself or see my own faults when I can blame everything on “them”?

      Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks for that. My perception of the WaPo article wasn’t that lazy people are abusing SSDI, but that desperate workers are resorting to it because they have no other choice. Workers struggling to survive often suffer stress-related health problems, and this can qualify them for SSDI.

      My town is one such down-on-its-luck, blue-collar, predominately white community. Poverty, drug abuse, domestic violence, petty crimes, and lots of people dependent upon government programs, is the depressing way of life here. I know many, many people receiving assistance. It ain’t pretty.

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    • Apologies. Didn’t mean to direct that toward you.

      Liked by 1 person

  10. Does this explain why the Alabama legislature thinks churches should have a police force?

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  11. I went to the site to sign up but someone else must have beat me to it because it couldn’t be reached. Disgusting how those other people get in the way of good deeds.

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  12. Sartre was right: ‘Hell is other people’

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  13. The Onion would love this. . . 🙂

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