Things I’ve Decided To Never Again Do Naked

Artist’s Rendering Of Me Practicing Ballet, Circa 1995

1.) Ask a woman out on a date for the first time.

2.) Walk into a gas station to ask for directions.

3.) Juggle 5 cats at the same time.

4.) Go into a biker bar and yell out,” You’re all a bunch of sissies!”

5.) Deliver pizza to a 5 year old’s birthday party.

6.) Work as a CNA in a nursing home for Alzheimer’s patients.

7.) Tell the cop who just pulled me over, “Look, I don’t have my license on me cause I’m not wearing any clothes!”

8.) Ride a horse through the city in a snow storm.

9.) Sunbathe next to a convent filled with horny nuns.

10.) Jump on a trampoline in school yard full of children.

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22 thoughts on “Things I’ve Decided To Never Again Do Naked

  1. 3.) Juggle 5 cats at the same time.

    Four is OK, then?

    4.) Go into a biker bar and yell out,” You’re all a bunch of sissies!”

    I feel like this isn’t going to go well for you with clothes, either.

    7.) Tell the cop who just pulled me over, “Look, I don’t have my license on me cause I’m not wearing any clothes!”

    Next time keep your mouth shut!

    9.) Sunbathe next to a convent filled with horny nuns.

    Need more sunblock.

  2. 🤣

  3. You forgot: turning up in front of the Nobel Prize committee to ask why they’re dragging their heels 😛

  4. The things we learn as we age, right? You might add one more to your list: Do not go into a 7-Eleven and ask for model airplane glue. (True story. Sort of.)

  5. Jeff, for the LIFE OF ME… I don’t understand at all why #1 didn’t work!? 😮 Or for that matter any of those! Pffffffft! People are so narrow-minded, huh!?

  6. I think you have learned your lessons well

  7. LMAO!!!

  8. The cat juggling could get ugly QUICK.

  9. Never again??? 😀

    Great post! One of your funniest.

  10. #6 &#9 have a lot of potential . Thanks for letting us know. Hugs

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