Artist’s Rendering Of Me Practicing Ballet, Circa 1995
1.) Ask a woman out on a date for the first time.
2.) Walk into a gas station to ask for directions.
3.) Juggle 5 cats at the same time.
4.) Go into a biker bar and yell out,” You’re all a bunch of sissies!”
5.) Deliver pizza to a 5 year old’s birthday party.
6.) Work as a CNA in a nursing home for Alzheimer’s patients.
7.) Tell the cop who just pulled me over, “Look, I don’t have my license on me cause I’m not wearing any clothes!”
8.) Ride a horse through the city in a snow storm.
9.) Sunbathe next to a convent filled with horny nuns.
10.) Jump on a trampoline in school yard full of children.
The Arm Chair Pontificator 
Four is OK, then?
I feel like this isn’t going to go well for you with clothes, either.
Next time keep your mouth shut!
Need more sunblock.
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😀
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🤣
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You forgot: turning up in front of the Nobel Prize committee to ask why they’re dragging their heels 😛
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Yes. Excellent.
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😉
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The things we learn as we age, right? You might add one more to your list: Do not go into a 7-Eleven and ask for model airplane glue. (True story. Sort of.)
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Love it.
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Jeff, for the LIFE OF ME… I don’t understand at all why #1 didn’t work!? 😮 Or for that matter any of those! Pffffffft! People are so narrow-minded, huh!?
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I know, right?
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I think you have learned your lessons well
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I have, my friend, I have.
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LMAO!!!
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😀
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The cat juggling could get ugly QUICK.
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Yes, yes it can. 🙂
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Don’t do it! 😉
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🙂
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Never again??? 😀
Great post! One of your funniest.
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Gotta take a break from tRump nonsense for awhile. 🙂
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#6 	 have a lot of potential . Thanks for letting us know. Hugs
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Don’t mention it. 🙂
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