What up, peeps? John the Baptist’s severed head here. Ya’ know, a lot of folks ask me, “John the Baptist’s severed head, what’s the most inconvenient thing about being a severed head?” Well, there are many inconveniences to my current predicament, my inability to wank off due to the fact I’ve no hands and no penis being one. But, the MOST inconvenient thing about all this is that every time I eat or drink something, it just comes pouring outta my neck a second after I swallow it. This one time, I was on a date with this smokin’ hot Italian babe I met in Rome. We were sittin’ in a restaurant, enjoying a light, flirtatious conversation, when she says to me, “John’s severed head, you simply MUST taste this wonderful wine I’m having.” She then proceeds to pour, like, a whole glassful of the stuff right down my gullet. Needless to say, red wine shot outta my severed neck like water from a fire hose on steroids. It got all over her and all over the table where we were sitting. Yeah, that was the end of that date. She drove me home and promised she’d text me later to set up another date, but I never heard from her again. Can’t really say I blame her. Now days I spend most of my time alone, watching TV and eating as little as is humanly possible. Life’s just simpler this way, and far less messy.
The Arm Chair Pontificator 
Hmm. Well that wouldn’t catch the spillage.
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Ah, but if the lead base is bowl-shaped it would. 🙂
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Still kinda splashy.
Is the value add of the spike the uprightness? Is he/it kind of on his/its side on the plate?
How tall should the spike be? How far through the head does it go?
… This is weird.
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Surreal kinda.
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I think a salad (serving) bowl could do him wonders.
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A small pike attached to a lead base would do well, too.
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Quirky, to say the least. 🙂
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Best way to get “ahead” in life is to be quirky. 🙂
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At least he doesn’t have to worry about putting on weight, while enjoying his life as a couch potato.
I gotta say though, after all the years of having one, I just don’t know how he can get along without a penis 🙂
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Tough life for the poor guy, eh?
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Bwahahaha! But… umm, wouldn’t that be TWO inconveniences, along with your many other bodily problems? 😛 😉
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Yes. Yes it would. 🙂
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Actually, the inconvenience is the inability to wank and there are two things that cause that singular issue, no hands and no penis. Damn, that John the Baptist’s severed head is a smart bloke.
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Hahaha… I’m just wanking with ya in my Monday morning headlessness. 😛
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$Amen$
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That, really, does look like his head
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It’s a life-like artist’s rendering.
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We were sittin’ in a restaurant, ????
Poor John … but we all have our “crosses” to bear. 😉
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And our silver platters. 🙂
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Ya need to tell him about his severed head buddies at Futurama. 😀
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Absolutely.
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