Santa Trump Puckering His Lips In Anticipation Of Kissing Vladimir Putin’s Anus
Moscow, Russia. President-Elect Donald Trump today said he will be returning Alaska to Russia as soon as he becomes President on January 20th. “Yeah,” Trump said earlier, “Alaska was bigly purchased in 1867 by a liberal asshole named Andrew Johnson. What a fuckin’ sissy he was! I mean, COME ON! Alaska is, like, cold n’ dark, like, 14 months outta the year! Why in fuck’s name do we need to own it? Crazy, eh? So, as a Christmas gift to the greatest, and sexiest man alive, Vladimir Putin, I’m returning Alaska to Russia as soon as I become President. This gift, includes every man, woman and child living in Alaska today, AND, it includes all the oil that’s in Alaska. Really, why in George W. Bush’s name do we need oil from Alaska when we’ve oil from Texas to fuel our economy? This gift will help make America great again because it will give a piece of America to Russia and Vladimir Putin, the very things that put my orange ass into office. God bless Russia, and God bless Vladimir Putin!”
The Arm Chair Pontificator 
What happens to Palin? Is she also included in the gift package
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Don’t think Putin wants her.
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Which I think is a sad development
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This whole scenario is sad.
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It is. I thought maybe the electoral college would change their mind on the 19th.
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They’re cowards, so, of course, they didn’t. One hell of a fuckin’ democracy we have when Clinton gets almost 3 million more votes than tRump, but the orange idiot still becomes President.
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That my friend, is the very strange part
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Well, Putin’s happy and the Chinese have been angered. Something really awful is surely to come from this shit.
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I am afraid the prospect doesn’t look good
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And scary!
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Indeed it is.
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I’m afraid I can hardly find this funny – it’s just too real 😦
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No sadly I heard Sarah is moving south to washington in an attempt to convert the heathens. Oh Gods this is so close to the truth to scare the underwear snot off me. Great reporting oh wise one. Hugs ( almost spelled wise one as “wise owned” ) must have been thinking tRumpism. Hugs
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Very close to the truth.
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Too funny!
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And too true. 🙂
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Does this mean we’ll finally get rid of Sarah Palin???
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Hopefully.
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