1.) I decided to swim down to the Titanic to see what it looks like up close but gave up because the water was too cold.
2.) I decided to give up my job as head of the CIA because I never held the position in the first place.
3.) I decided to become a leading member of the Yakuza, but, since I can’t speak Japanese, they had no idea what I was asking them, so they told me to fuck off. At least I think that’s what they told me.
4.) I decided to purchase a wild, hungry tiger as a pet, but, since it ripped off my right arm and ate it, I returned it.
5.) I decided to dye my skin orange, become a misogynistic, xenophobic racist, run for President, and win. However, since that’s already been done, I didn’t do it.
6.) I decided my God was better than all the other gods that people believe in; started a church; got tax exemption for myself and said church, and now I’m a billionaire collecting tax-free money from my followers. Praise be to my God.
7.) I decided to wear my KKK outfit out in public this week, and guess what? No one cared.
8.) I decided grabbing women by the pussy without their permission was an awesome idea, and guess what? The President-Elect of the United States agrees with me.
9.) I decided to be bitten by a radioactive spider so I could become Spiderman. However, once I exposed the spider to gamma radiation, it died and was unable to bite me. Thus, I’m still just a fat white guy with no super powers.
10.) I decided to say Happy Thanksgiving to all my readers, even the ones fortunate enough to not live in America these days.
The Arm Chair Pontificator 
” I decided to say Happy Thanksgiving to all my readers, even the ones fortunate enough to not live in America these days.”
Ha! I feel your pain, I hope you had a nice Thanksgiving all the same ❤
LikeLike
Thanks. I did. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m glad 🙂
LikeLike
I am amazed that the water being cold was the only problem you had with #1
#6 is a proven path to success. I had no idea you were that sleazy though…. 😉 Seriously have you ever looked at a preacher that didn’t make you want to puke? They all look like sleazy con men. Oh…wait!
LikeLike
Yeah, holding my breath for hours woulda been an issue too, I believe, but we’ll never know now. Damn cold water.
LikeLike
You got thoughts. Interesting thoughts.
LikeLike
I decided to have ’em.
LikeLike
Can you decide not to have them?
LikeLike
That’s a decision I’ve not yet made.
LikeLike
OK, this time I have to use that thing texters use when they want to indicate they’ve been amused… ROTFLMAO!!! (and thanks for that bit of music: wonderful!)
LikeLike
$Amen$
LikeLike
I decided it was time for Albinoni in G minor.
LikeLike
Lovely. Makes me feel orange, like a blanket of orange supremacy will very soon cover and control America.
LikeLiked by 1 person