Tadpole Town, Oklahoma. Spokesman and symbol for the Alt Right movement, Pepe the Frog, said today it is highly racist and insulting to call the day after Thanksgiving, Black Friday. “It feels bad, man,” Pepe said earlier. “Why ain’t the day after Thanksgiving called White Friday? Somethin’ wrong with the color white? Oh, wait! Of course there is. White is the color of the most horribly maligned and abused men in America: xenophobic, racist, misogynistic bigots. What the hell gives people the right to frown on a group of white dudes simply because they’re misogynists, bigots and racists? Prick these men and will they not bleed? Call them names and will they not cry? Give them a black President and will they not feel marginalized and outraged? They are but human, and it’s time they were treated that way.
Every year these poor men must endure the blatant horror that is the day after Thanksgiving: Black Friday. Well, I say enough. Now that we have an orange President who understands the trauma these men have suffered under the color of Barrack Obama’s skin for 8 years, it’s time to do right by ’em and re-name Black Friday, White Friday. Black has had its time in the sun. It’s time to send it back to the 18th century so that the better color, white, can once again dominate every facet of the American life. And what better way is there to help do this then by re-naming Black Friday, White Friday? None that I can think of, that’s for sure.”