Woman Claims Hillary Clinton Groped Her Email

Hillary Clinton About To Grope Her Some Email

Hillary Clinton About To Grope Some Email

Handsy Town, South Carolina.   A woman today, by the name of Beverly Titenheimer, said Hillary Clinton groped her email during a rally held here last month.   “I had my laptop out and was emailing a friend of mine,” Ms. Titenheimer said earlier, “when Secretary Clinton came down from the stage and grabbed it from me.  Her breath reeked of mint Tic Tacs and her hands were cold and clammy.  She groped, fingered, prodded and rubbed my email account until tears welled up in my eyes.  She then promptly said to me, ‘I can grope people’s email whenever I want and there’s nothing they can do about it because I’m famous.’  After that, she returned my laptop to me, walked back onto the stage, and gave a rousing speech about the cancer risks of using too much rub-on tanning solution.   This event has shattered my world, ended my life-long love of mint Tic Tacs, and taken away the wholesome purity of my virginal email.  May God have mercy on that woman’s soul for what she’s done to me.”

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12 thoughts on “Woman Claims Hillary Clinton Groped Her Email

  1. Hey
    It was good going through.
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  2. The title alone, I fucking died! Oh, you are priceless, my all too awesome friend!

  3. Heh 🙂 Just yesterday I walked by the wife and she lightly grabbed my behind, I said “Ahhh! I’ve been Trumped!” I decided not to call the cops 🙂

  4. It’s her own fault. Having the password: I’d Blow Your Husband 2, made it too damn easy for Hilary.

  5. The traumatic experience of having one’s email account groped can emotionally scar a person for life.

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