Bible Characters Who Had Weight Problems

Here are a few pics of Bible characters who had appetites that were, to say the least, rather insatiable.

Baby Jesus Had Quite A Problem Keeping His Weight Down. His Mother, Mary, Once Said About Him, "Yeah, That Little Dickens LOVES His Donuts, And, Since He's, Well, God, He Can Simply Materialize Them Whenever He Wants Them. Makes It Damned Hard To Monitor His Diet, I Must Say."

Baby Jesus Had Quite A Problem Keeping His Weight Down. His Mother, Mary, Once Said About Him, “Yeah, That Little Dickens LOVES His Donuts, And, Since He’s, Well, God, He Can Simply Materialize Them Whenever He Wants Them. Makes It Damned Hard To Monitor His Diet, I Must Say.”

 

Mary Magdalene Had A Love For Pasta That Was Notorious Throughout The Ancient World. August Caesar Once Said Of Her, "That Lady Sure Can Eat. I Invited Her To The Palace For Diner One Night And It Cost Me, Like, 4500 Bars Of Gold In Pasta Alone. That's A LOT Of Gold, Even For The Emperor."

Mary Magdalene Had A Love For Pasta That Was Notorious Throughout The Ancient World. August Caesar Once Said Of Her, “That Lady Sure Can Eat. I Invited Her To The Palace For Diner One Night And It Cost Me, Like, 450 Bars Of Gold For The Pasta Alone. That’s A LOT Of Gold, Even For The Emperor.”

 

Not Only Was St. Peter A Heavy Fella, He Had A Belch So Loud It Shook Buildings, At Least According To St. John. "Yep," John Once Said," Peter, After Eating An Entire Roasted Pig By Himself, Belched So Loud The Doors Of The Restaurant We Were In Literally Fell Off The Hinges. Wild Fella, That Peter."

Not Only Was St. Peter A Heavy Fella, He Had A Belch So Loud It Shook Buildings, At Least According To St. John. “Yep,” John Once Said, “Peter, After Eating An Entire Roasted Pig All By Himself, Belched So Loud The Doors Of The Restaurant We Were In Literally Fell Off Their Hinges. Wild Guy, That Peter.”

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26 thoughts on “Bible Characters Who Had Weight Problems

  1. I don’t think I have the stomach for your brand of humour any more. In fact I’ve had just about a bellyful.

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  2. Lol, randomly irreverent 😀 Thanks for the morning smiles

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  3. HAHAHA LOVE this one! 😀

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  4. Not just “like,” I love!

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  5. That guy looks like he swallowed a beach ball! That woman…oh my gosh. I expect many people who get this big probably have medical conditions, others just zero self control.

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  6. Haha! Those are weighty matters

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  7. You’re spending too much time watching the History channel! 😀

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  8. Naaa. Peter ate no pigs. Peter was a pumpkin eater – and it shows! (And he had rocks in his head – hence the name)

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  9. That last photo was incredible. Imagine the back problems trying to keep that up. Must have legs like an elephant. Great reporting, as always you are cutting edge. Best wishes and hugs

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