Gold Medal Winner, Gerry Scales
Rio, Not An American City. For the first time since Gold Fish Racing was introduced to the Summer Olympics in 1978, an American goldfish has won the gold. “I’ve been practicing since I was no bigger than a guppy to be the fastest swimming goldfish in the world, and now, that dream has finally become reality for me,” said Gold Medal winner, Gerry “Wet” Scales. “I’d like to thank my moms and pops for all their support over the years. They taught me that with perseverance and a diet of fresh blood worms, anything is possible. I’ve never been prouder to be a goldfish and an American. This is just so AWESOME! As soon as I get home, I’m taking my girlfriend to Disney Land to celebrate.”
The Arm Chair Pontificator 
Hahaha you know that this post is the ONLY thing I will have read that was Olympics related 😀
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Pretty much me too.
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Oh good, I’m glad I wasn’t the only one not to be Olympics obsessed
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I was completely uninterested.
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Same!
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Just curious – what other countries entered goldfish into the competition? I mean was “Wet” Scales the only entrant?
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China had a contestant named Fin Jin, and France had one named Oui Gill.
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I know Gerry we worked together at the canning factory
Great guy
If I ever would forget my lunch
He always had extra
Chief half a cup
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He is a great fella, for a fish. 🙂
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I’m sad to report that shortly after this Olympic gold medal-winning American goldfish spoke with the media, it died of complications resulting from swimming in Brazil’s disease-infested waters. Flags will be flown at half-mast across the nation tomorrow in honor of the heroic Gerry “Wet” Scales. “May he rest in peace,” said Adam Shyster CEO of Acme Corporation – one of the official sponsors of the 2016 Summer Olympic Games.
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We’re having a candlelight vigil for him tonight at our annual fish fry down by Lake Michigan. Poor guy.
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Yum!
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