And Now, Mental Health Advice From Moses

Dear Moses, my name is Veronica Precious. I'm 16 years old, and I'm simply plagued by anxiety over boys. I want to date and have fun like other girls my age, but whenever a boy tries to ask me out, I get so nervous, I always say no. Can you give me some mental health advice so I came overcome this problem? Thanks in advance, Veronica Precious, an anxious 16 year girl.

Dear Moses, my name is Veronica Precious. I’m 16 years old, and I’m simply plagued by anxiety over boys. I want to date and have fun like other girls my age, but whenever a boy tries to ask me out, I get so nervous, I always say no. Can you give me some mental health advice so I can overcome this problem?   Thanks in advance, Veronica Precious, an anxious 16 year girl.

 

Veronica, GET OVER YOURSELF! Anxiety? Over boys? Let me tell you about anxiety, young lady. Have you ever tried leading 2.5 million Jews through a friggin' desert for 40 years? Have you? Well, I have. Let me tell you, the amount of whining and bitching I had to put up with would drive the calmest person insane with anxiety. "Are we there yet, Moses?" "Moses, can we stop? I gotta pee." "Moses. can I sleep in your tent tonight? I'm scared." "I got sand in my eye, Moses." "How many commandments are there again, Moses?" They drove me BATS!!! Bats, I tellz ya'! So, get over yourself, Veronica and go out with a boy already. In my day, at 16, a girl would have had 3 kids already. Imagine THAT anxiety. Hope this was helpful. Yours in good mental health, Moses

Veronica, GET OVER YOURSELF! Anxiety? Over boys? Let me tell you about anxiety, young lady. Have you ever tried leading 2.5 million Jews through a friggin’ desert for 40 years? Have you? Well, I have. And let me tell you, the amount of whining and bitching I had to put up with would drive the calmest person insane with anxiety.  “Are we there yet, Moses?”  “Moses, can we stop? I gotta pee.”  “Moses. can I sleep in your tent tonight? I’m scared.”  “I got sand in my eyes, Moses.”  “How many commandments are there again, Moses?”  They drove me BATS!!!  Bats, I tellz ya’!  So, get over yourself, Veronica and go out with a boy already.  In my day, at 16, a girl would have had 3 kids already. Imagine THAT anxiety.   Hope this was helpful.     Yours in good mental health, Moses.

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16 thoughts on “And Now, Mental Health Advice From Moses

  1. Fan-fucking-tastic!

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  2. When you are belling yourself you are waiting for rejection
    You can’t do both
    It’s still early in the game a lot of time you can just watch and learn
    Instead of labeling it panic and anxiety
    As always sheldon

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  3. I think there was a misprint about Moses parting the red sea… it was a story that was talking about one night after drinking heavily when he went out to relieve himself during the feast Moses dropped his bread into his pee. See how silly simple things get blown out of proportion? 😉 Hugs

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  4. Moses should shy away from giving advice. He seems I’ll prepared for that task

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  5. Poor Moses. I shall pray for his buried soul tonight.

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