Ned Kneeler Plying His Former Trade
Meow Mix Central, South Dakota. A professional cat juggler today, Ned Kneeler, quite his job after being scratched on the arm whilst twirling 3 cats in the air simultaneously. “It REALLY hurt,” Mr. Kneeler said earlier. “I reached out to take hold of one of the cats, and it scratched my arm. The pain was so severe, as was the shock of what had just happened to me, that I almost dropped the three cats I was juggling on the ground. I didn’t, and they’re all safe, but I’m done juggling cats for a living. I’ve been doing it ever since I learned how from a traveling gypsy woman almost 30 years ago. If I’d had known then what I do now, that cats don’t like to be juggled and can scratch you while you’re doing it, I’d have found a different way to make my living. I’m out of the cat juggling business as of today. Luckily, I still have a thriving infant juggling business to keep me afloat until I find something else to do. I wonder if puppy juggling might not be safer?”
The Arm Chair Pontificator 
I LOVE you for coming up with the kind of stuff that makes me cry with laughter. My brother is the only other person I know who has that same sense of humour AND effortlessly comes up with… “this”.
Seriously, THANKS!!
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Thanks so much. This comment made my night.
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I’m glad. Coz I meant it!! 😀
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$Amen$
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Is your brother a writer?
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Well, not really. He dabbled in writing a few years back but he’s given it up now. His sense of humour though, well it’s the same as mine…but he’s really quick and sharp and he makes me cry with laughter when we talk, and your posts really remind me of him. You are bloody hysterical and I know I’ve said it before but I would cry in my vodka if we ever met, and I’d have an effing great evening 😀
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Oh, it would be epic. I’m far funnier in person. I do voices and all kinds of wacky shit.
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I’m SURE you do! My brother does voices too 😀
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I do a great Marlon Brando. I did improv and took many classes at Second City back in the day.
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I did not know that! You’re ahead of my brother there, he’s never done anything that exciting 😀
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It’s great fun.
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Apparently the cat jugglers problems started after he though it might be a good idea to give the cats a wash:
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Poor cat. 🙂
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Yep cats are not keen on someone else washing them:
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Cute, and sad.
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Now I know why Pope Benedict stood aside:
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Awesome.
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Learning through trial and error; and, if he keeps juggling infants and puppies, he’ll learn some more painful lessons. What a dumb-ass!
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Indeed.
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Ha! You have seen the Steve Martin movie “The Jerk” ? I watched that movie again recently. I always get a chuckle out of the cat juggling scam, and the defective oil cans.
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Great flick. Haven’t seen it in years. I actually forgot about the cat juggling bit. Messed up minds think alike. 🙂
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Stick with the babies
Poop is easier to deal with
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I’ll pass the message on.
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Infant juggling should keep him afloat. I see no need to divest further
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I’ll let him know.
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