Man Quits Job As Cat Juggler After Being Scratched

Ned Kneeler Plying His Former Trade

Ned Kneeler Plying His Former Trade

Meow Mix Central, South Dakota.   A professional cat juggler today, Ned Kneeler, quite his job after being scratched on the arm whilst twirling 3 cats in the air simultaneously.   “It REALLY hurt,” Mr. Kneeler said earlier.  “I reached out to take hold of one of the cats, and it scratched my arm.   The pain was so severe, as was the shock of what had just happened to me, that I almost dropped the three cats I was juggling on the ground.  I didn’t, and they’re all safe, but I’m done juggling cats for a living.   I’ve been doing it ever since I learned how from a traveling gypsy woman almost 30 years ago.   If I’d had known then what I do now, that cats don’t like to be juggled and can scratch you while you’re doing it, I’d have found a different way to make my living.  I’m out of the cat juggling business as of today.  Luckily, I still have a thriving infant juggling business to keep me afloat until I find something else to do.  I wonder if puppy juggling might not be safer?”

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25 thoughts on “Man Quits Job As Cat Juggler After Being Scratched

  1. I LOVE you for coming up with the kind of stuff that makes me cry with laughter. My brother is the only other person I know who has that same sense of humour AND effortlessly comes up with… “this”.
    Seriously, THANKS!!

  2. Apparently the cat jugglers problems started after he though it might be a good idea to give the cats a wash:

  3. Now I know why Pope Benedict stood aside:

  4. Learning through trial and error; and, if he keeps juggling infants and puppies, he’ll learn some more painful lessons. What a dumb-ass!

  5. Ha! You have seen the Steve Martin movie “The Jerk” ? I watched that movie again recently. I always get a chuckle out of the cat juggling scam, and the defective oil cans.

  6. Stick with the babies
    Poop is easier to deal with

  7. Infant juggling should keep him afloat. I see no need to divest further

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