Is This Man Donald Trump’s Illegitimate Son?
Chocolate Factory City, New Jersey. An Oompa Loompa named Barton Banger claimed today to be the illegitimate son of Donald Trump. “Yep. The Donald is most definitely my Pops,” Mr. Banger said earlier. “He and my moms met during the filming of Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory back in the early 70’s. Donald was eventually fired from the movie because of his freakishly tall height. The producers said he looked ridiculous next to the other Oompa Loompas during the film’s song and dance routines, so they fired him. Any-who, that’s how I came to be. He and my moms had a quick fling, he got fired, and she never saw him again. I figure it’s time now to claim my share of the Trump fortune, so I’m coming out about my true identity. Also, I’ve always wanted to live in the White House, and hopefully, when my Pops becomes President, he’ll let me move into it with him. Gotta run now, I’ve got chocolate shimmering on the stove, and I don’t want to over cook it.”
The Arm Chair Pontificator 
Everything I just said before, repeated! 😀
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😀
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I loved Willy Wonka, but Umpalumpa’s freaked me out a little as a kid.
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Me too. Very odd looking creatures.
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I was also entirely freaked out by Wind in the Willows. We had a picture book where ballerina’s were dressed up as the charcaters, and to me, it was pure HORROR!
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That never bothered me. The child catcher from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang scared the hell outta me, though. Still does.
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Ooooh, I’d forgotten about him! Yes!!
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He rode around in that van with a big-ass child catching net and was mean as hell. Scary guy.
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You must be working overtime on that cloud of yours! These trump-isms you keep coming up with are hilarious. 😃
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The guy’s a goldmine of material.
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