Vikings Like These Attempted To Take Over The White House Today
Blue-Eyed City, Minnesota. A group of vicious Vikings today tried to invade the White House and take over America. Witness to the PTSD-causing event, Melinda Muffinberger, had this to say about it: “I was walking my dog, Pussy, this morning when a group of 6 or 7 rage-filled Vikings got off a bus near the White House and rushed past me. They began yelling, ‘America is ours now, bitches!’ as they ran onto the White House lawn. Several secret service agents ran from the White House and opened fire on the crazed Vikings. All were killed within seconds. I’m almost certain the Vikings were not armed, but they were very mean and scary looking, so they deserved exactly what they got. I’m deeply grateful to our wonderful secret service for protecting me, my darling Pussy, and our great nation. I hope this serves as a warning to all cultures that wish to invade the White House and attack America. F*ck with us, and you die.”
The Arm Chair Pontificator 
Like this, it’s perfection. Even down to the names…I love how you always pick great names that are stand alone hysterical!
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I love making them up.
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You’ve got a real flair for it! 😀
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From the Vikings perspective they got what they wanted. The road to Valhalla.
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Great point.
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Well thank goodness Muffenberger and her pussy are safe! Whew!
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Woof! Woof!
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I think the dog is wrongly named😉
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Me too.
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“Melinda Muffinberger” and her dog “Pussy…”
Where’s a good comedic rim-shot when you need one? – lol!
Yo-ah, ho-ah! Brynhilda spirits Dr. Smith off to Asgard for a showdown with Thor… (see: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0636248/).
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Ah, Lost in Space! Love it. 🙂
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There was a white house
With black Vikings
At the station
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“In a white house
with black curtains…
Lived a Viking..
named Joe Merlin….”
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Hey Joe
Where you going with that gun in your hand
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To the movies, Ma. I’m gonna have a jihad for Allah at the movies and I bought my gun legally, though I’ve been on the FBI watch list for years. God bless guns, and God bless America!
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Well, as I said on the way back from the WC this morning, that was a short lived on movement.
“Norse Lives Madder”
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Speaking of Vikings, if you’ve not seen the show of that name that’s on the History Channel, yes, the History Channel, it’s quite excellent.
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Sorry, we haven’t had TV for about 3 and a half years. Maybe we can borrow it from the library
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Oh, I break into my neighbors house and watch his while he’s away. Eat his food too. I do it all in Viking garb.
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Pillage is good.. raping, not so much
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Agreed. Why rape when there’s so much to pillage? Vikings used to give their enemies a “bloody eagle” as a form of execution. Quite awful. I won’t describe it, but, if you want chills, look it up. Ouch and yuck.
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They could have taught Joshua a thing or two, yeah?
Sorry, forgot for a moment that Joshua was fiction
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They could’ve. I rather enjoy the Norse pantheon of gods over the boring Christian one. Thor would kick the crap outta Jesus, and then some.
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If there had of been citizens with guns nearby those dirty vikings wouldn’t have made it to the White House. Clearly shows we need more guns!
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Very true.
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Clearly!
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Help stop Viking invasions: Join the NRA and buy some guns.
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