NRA Spokesman, Shot’em Inda ‘Ead
Bloodbath City, Idaho. Celebrate the Second Amendment and Freedom with the NRA this Fourth of July as they give out free guns to every American over the age of 5. “We at da NRA are proud ta be ‘Mericans,” said NRA spokesman, Shot’em Inda ‘Ead this morning. “So proud, in fact, dat we’ll be givin’ out guns ta everyone over 5 years ‘o age dis Fourth ‘o July at Christian churches all ‘cross ‘Merica! Der ain’t no better way ta be free dan fer everyone over 5 ta be armed wit guns. No better way ta keep our womenz from bein’ raped ‘n beaten by Obama dan ta be armed! Armed iz free! Free iz armed! ‘N only glorified sissies ‘n terrorists tink odderwize. So, dat’s dat. Go ta yer friggin’ neighborhood Christian church on da Fourth, git yer free gun, ‘n kill a terrorist in celebration ov God, da Second Amendment, ‘n, most ‘portantly, FREEDOM!!! Amen.”
The Arm Chair Pontificator 
Oi, why are my bloody comments still in moderation?
LikeLike
WP bein’ screwy is all. Don’t worry, I approve all.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Shucks, and there’s me living so far away. Another opportunity missed.
Gunless in Jo’burg.
”Dang, Waldo, why’d y’let Cousin Jeb pursuade us to move so far down south?”
LikeLike
Yer missin’ out on all the fun we have here. Too bad fer you.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Are they giving grenade launchers to those who have guns already
LikeLike
Yes.
LikeLike
Good satire! Were you inspired by the Southern Baptists? “Kentucky Southern Baptists Draw Crowds with Gun Giveaways” | NPR – March 3, 2014
LikeLike
I was. It’s hard to write satire these days as reality is SO crazy.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I`ve heard Bloodbath is great on Saturdays.
LikeLike
‘Specially after happy hour starts.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ah, shots and shots 🙂
LikeLike
And keggers, man!
LikeLike
Beer and booze and guns — ahhh! The perfect combination.
LikeLike
Beer and booze and guns, Oh my! Beer and booze and guns, Oh my! Beer and booze and guns, Oh my! “Shud up Dorothy or I’ll shoot ya’.”
LikeLike
shots at kegs, Ye’haw!
LikeLike
Not ’til they’re empty. pal. Not ’til they’re empty.
LikeLiked by 1 person
What? Only to Americans above the age of five? Are toddlers no longer allowed to shoot at people by accident? That’s freaking gun control!
LikeLike
They’re practicing with knives when they’re under five. Come on, we must have SOME sensible rules here.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Well, “sensible rules” is just liberal jargon for “gun control”, bro.
LikeLike
Yeah, unfortunately, you’re right. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
I agree, gun-totting toddlers would put the fear of God into every mother wanting to take away our constipational, err I mean constitutional right to bear arms!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Even though my body has not crossed a church threshold in nigh on to many years, I think I shall go to the neighborhood chapel on this 4th to collect my free gun cuz, well, gosh oh gee … according to Mr. Wayne, I need to protect myself from all the bad guys … particularly Obama, who’s undoubtedly going to come knockin’ on my door to get my newly-acquired AR-15 faster than I can insert my 30-round magazine clip!
LikeLike
You’re a wise woman.
LikeLike
😀 I learned it all from reading the NRA mag and taking what they say to heart. I mean, they wouldn’t lie, would they?
LikeLike
‘Course not. Why would they? 🙂
LikeLike
Ha! I’m luving it 🙂 I effin despise wayne lapierre LOL
LikeLike
That guy is evil personified.
LikeLiked by 1 person