NRA To Give Out Free Guns This 4th Of July

NRA Spokesman, Shoot'em Inda'head

NRA Spokesman, Shot’em Inda ‘Ead

Bloodbath City, Idaho.   Celebrate the Second Amendment and Freedom with the NRA this Fourth of July as they give out free guns to every American over the age of 5.   “We at da NRA are proud ta be ‘Mericans,” said NRA spokesman, Shot’em Inda ‘Ead this morning.  “So proud, in fact, dat we’ll be givin’ out guns ta everyone over 5 years ‘o age dis Fourth ‘o July at Christian churches all ‘cross ‘Merica!  Der ain’t no better way ta be free dan fer everyone over 5 ta be armed wit guns.  No better way ta keep our womenz from bein’ raped ‘n beaten by Obama dan ta be armed!  Armed iz free!  Free iz armed!  ‘N only glorified sissies ‘n terrorists tink odderwize.  So, dat’s dat.  Go ta yer friggin’ neighborhood Christian church on da Fourth, git yer free gun, ‘n kill a terrorist in celebration ov God, da Second Amendment, ‘n, most ‘portantly, FREEDOM!!!  Amen.”

27 thoughts on “NRA To Give Out Free Guns This 4th Of July

  1. Oi, why are my bloody comments still in moderation?


  2. Shucks, and there’s me living so far away. Another opportunity missed.

    Gunless in Jo’burg.

    ”Dang, Waldo, why’d y’let Cousin Jeb pursuade us to move so far down south?”


  3. Are they giving grenade launchers to those who have guns already


  4. Good satire! Were you inspired by the Southern Baptists? “Kentucky Southern Baptists Draw Crowds with Gun Giveaways” | NPR – March 3, 2014


  5. I`ve heard Bloodbath is great on Saturdays.


  6. What? Only to Americans above the age of five? Are toddlers no longer allowed to shoot at people by accident? That’s freaking gun control!


  7. Even though my body has not crossed a church threshold in nigh on to many years, I think I shall go to the neighborhood chapel on this 4th to collect my free gun cuz, well, gosh oh gee … according to Mr. Wayne, I need to protect myself from all the bad guys … particularly Obama, who’s undoubtedly going to come knockin’ on my door to get my newly-acquired AR-15 faster than I can insert my 30-round magazine clip!


  8. Ha! I’m luving it 🙂 I effin despise wayne lapierre LOL


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