06.12.16
by

A Solution Or Another Modest Proposal

modest-proposal2

Orlando, Florida.   Once again, in America, an armed gunman has killed innocent people for whatever insane reason he felt he had to.  50 people were killed in Orlando last night.  50 human beings who were alive at this time yesterday morning are now dead due to the actions of one armed lunatic.  The reason why this happened, and/or why he did it, is not the purpose of this post.  Instead, I wish to address a partial, if not total, solution to this horrid problem in our society: Guns.  No, it’s not what you’re thinking.  I’m not going to rant about the dangers and evils of guns.  I’m going to do something unexpected here and say, that in total honesty, I agree with Donald Trump’s position on an armed populace.  (Check out this CNN piece on Trump and the shootings in Paris last November to see what I’m talking about:http://www.cnn.com/2015/11/14/politics/paris-terror-attacks-donald-trump-guns/)

If every citizen in that nightclub last night were armed, this tragedy would have been greatly reduced, if not completely prevented.  Let’s envision it, shall we.  A man comes into a nightclub, takes out an automated weapon and starts to shoot.  Several people are hit, BUT, then, EVERY person in the club pulls out a weapon and fires at the gunman!  BANG! BANG, mother fucker! You’re dead.  A few people may be killed or hurt at first, but clearly it would not be 50.  AND, if every person in America were armed, and EVERY nut-job who’s planning some crazed killing spree were aware of it, maybe, just maybe, they’d have second thoughts about going through with it.

Therefor, I’m modestly proposing that Trump’s first act as Commander and Chief be to pass a law making it mandatory for every man, woman and child in America to carry a loaded gun.   This is not a crazed, ridiculous statement I’m making.  It’s the quickest, easiest solution to acts of terrorism on American soil.  Here’s what this law will say.  Every child born in America will be given a loaded weapon upon leaving the hospital with their mothers, and, beginning in kindergarten, each child will be trained to use that gun as if it were a part of their very being.  They’ll be taught to shoot first and ask questions later if they spot armed terrorists or armed crazy people in crowded, public places.   In addition, every adult born before this law becomes active will now be required to carry an armed weapon at all times.   To be caught without one will result in severe financial penalties as well as up to 6 months in prison.   This law will make crazy people, religious extremists, whacked-out bigots, and all others wishing to harm others with loaded weapons go to another country to carry out their hateful acts.  America will be safe once more, and, more importantly, it will be truly free for the first time in its history.

In conclusion, please remember what Jesus said to Peter during the Last Supper: “Peter, I’m gonna say this once to you, and only once.  An armed populace is a safe populace.  Now, hand me the lamb, I’m starved.”

26 thoughts on “A Solution Or Another Modest Proposal”

  1. It doesn’t matter how insane it is, so many people actually BELIEVE this is the solution. It beggars belief.

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    • Oh, I know. That part, sadly, is not satire. Just imagine 50 MORE people in that nightclub pulling out guns, releasing the safety, and firing at a moving target into a crowd of people. Yeah, that would REALLY help. tRump is a pestilence the likes of which the world has rarely seen. I’m nice when I say he’s a walking Ebola virus dressed in an expensive suit. The longer this cancer of a man is allowed to be on TV, the more America will degenerate into a pool of primordial mud. In case ya ain’t noticed, I really hate this ass-hat. $Amen$ 🙂

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    • Hey … don’t hold back! Tell us what you REALLY think about him. 😉

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    • I will when I’ve more energy. 🙂

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    • That’s what I like: a comment that says it all and saves me the trouble to look for something to add. Touche (just imagine the accent!)

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  3. The wittiest comments on this thread will not “help promote plate tectonics”; your post itself did! I love the ‘armed’ suggestion almost from the very beginning, that is, as soon as they leave nursery. 😉

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  4. I guess I should feel ashamed. It took me awhile to realize this was one of your more inventive satires. I mean, I was actually beginning to swallow it (tell you why in a minute) until I got to the part about the newborns and kindergartners. 😉

    As I’ve mentioned in various comments throughout the blogosphere, my “other half” is an AVID lover of guns and possession of same. He’s not so much a “Second Amendment” supporter as he is just someone who really, really likes guns. He also believes well-armed is well-protected. That’s why at the beginning of your piece, I was thinking how much he would support your position.

    I suppose, in a way, there actually is some validity behind your proposal … IF … and let me repeat … IF all those who possessed guns were sane, sensible, and trained owners. Which, as we already know and have experienced, is an impossible requirement.

    Once again you have displayed your inventive and clever mind! 😀

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    • Thanks. I despise the obsession so many Americans have with guns. They’re a substitute, IMO, for a phallus. Hold a gun, and feel the power of manliness course through you. I believe this even of women who love guns. It gives one the manly feeling of being a god, and it gives the gun owner immediate power over life and death. Problem is, the vast majority of people in love with the idea of holding a powerful, god-like phallus in their hands are idjits with the emotional maturation of 13 year old boys. That guns are so readily available in our society is a horrible thing. Nothing good comes from it.

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    • Guns and the phallus thing, yes, I can “see” that. But there’s more: “I have a gun” means I don’t need to use my intellect, common sense or morality.

      My view on guns: “Two reasons never to own a gun. One, whatever the provocation I couldn’t use it. Two, given enough provocation I would use it.” That any “human” being should still be stuck on the need to protect itself against others of its own species indicates the level of immaturity that haunts the creatures. Bottom line, let them kill each other, it’s the only “solution” to their stupidity. It’s not just Americans. Other groups may not have guns, but that hasn’t slowed down their desperate need to resort to bloody violence to resolve their conflicts.

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    • Well said.

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  5. Brilliant satire – loved it!

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    • Thanks. And thanks for the follow. 🙂 Sha’Tara sounds like a Star Trek name. I’m not making fun at all. I simply love the name. Awesome.

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    • Thanks. We aliens are tired of hiding our real names behind meaningless Earthian family-related handles. We have many names suitable for many places or incarnations. As an avatar, Sha’Tara tells my friends what I am about. Sha’ (abbrev. for Shakti, shalom, shaper, shadow) and of course Tara (Earth) lets them know that this is my current location and I’m “working” on the earth problem. Small stuff, but then I’m not highly advanced in the cosmic arts. Speaking of Star Trek, Vulcans and Altarians (my current home world) were once one people but there was a serious split over logic versus compassion. The Vulcan group felt that compassion was a weakness; we felt that logic alone was a blindness and too constricting in developing full human status. The “Mr. Spock” character was quite well written, actually, but the Vulcan worlds aren’t as bleak as the movies depicted. Am I also being serious? Yes, and that’s how it is.

      Enjoying your satire and jokes… another thanks! 🙂

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    • Love it. You’re great. May The Force Be With You, and may you live long and prosper. 🙂

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    • Thanks for the reblog, my friend, and thanks for getting my point. I’ve yet to hear a solid argument against the one I propose here that doesn’t involve the GOVERNMENT, yes, the GOVERNMENT, regulating our second amendment rights. They either can regulate the second amendment, or they can’t. It can’t be both ways. BTW, I’ll send you one of my nukes. I don’t REALLY need 25 of them. Wait til you see how safe you’ll feel once you rub your hands all over it.

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    • My pleasure, it’s a superb post on this very sad day.

      Thanks for the nuke! I feel safer already!

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    • That makes me wonder though, is it illegal in the States to carry a concealed nuke?

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    • It is, though, according to our 2nd amendment, it should NOT be. The second amendment gives U.S. citizens the right to keep, and bare arms. In no way does it say WHICH arms we can keep and bare. Thus, any restriction on my right to keep a nuclear weapon is my government restricting my right to keep and bare arms. Conservatives in America are total idiots and ideological fuck-wads for not seeing how much our government restricts our right to keep and bare arms. We either can keep arms, free of government intervention, or we can’t. The weapon, or “arm”, we’re keeping has NOTHING to do with the 2nd amendment. Conservatives are, without any question, the biggest group of assholes this world has ever seen. Their idiocy and complete hatred of life, reality, and common sense is a stench upon the world not seen since the black plague of the Middle Ages. Conservatives are vile, disgusting, dumb, uneducated, cancerous, and a stench upon life that is biblical in its proportion. Screw them and all they stand for. $Amen$

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    • Oh, my, you’re actually out-hating me! I love it!

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    • Why, thank you kindly. 🙂

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