Miami, Florida. A locale man who purchased a wolverine from an online pet store had his face torn off by it when it arrived at his home last night. “Yeah, in retrospect, this was perhaps not a great idea,” said Herbert Dumfuchr, the man in question, “but I’ve wanted to have a pet wolverine ever since I was a kid. They’re SOOOO cute!
Herbert Dumfuchr
After a great deal of research, I found an exotic online pet store that sold them, bought one, and had it shipped to my house. I know wolverines have a reputation for being wild and very aggressive, but, hey, I’m a real sweetheart of a guy, and I figured the wolverine would sense this and give me kisses as soon as it saw me. Needless to say, that didn’t happen. The little bugger jumped onto my head the moment I took it out of its crate, tore my face off, then scurried away. Live and learn, eh? Live and learn. Oh, if you’re in the Miami area and see a wolverine running around with a human face in its mouth, please call me at 1-555-555-4534. There may still be time to have it reattached to my skull. Thanks, and God bless.”
The Arm Chair Pontificator 
This totally made me think of Tyrion and the dragons…have you seen the latest episode?
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Not yet, but I know all about it. Tyrion will be flying on one of those soon. Peter Dinklage is THE man.
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So…you’re going with the 3 headed dragon theory? Coz I’m going with that!! Although I really want Jon Snow to be THE man!
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Yeah. I’m going with that, too, and I’m betting Jon Snow WILL be the man.
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😀 😀
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🙂
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On occasion I have been known to eat a light bulb for kicks
But a animal who eats face
Well I guess it takes all kinds
Hell cheap thrills
Are so……
Any more
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I often take off my shirt and swallow battery powered light bulbs whole while they’re on. Makes me look like a human firefly.
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I’m glad we’re from the same school of thinking
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$Amen$
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Reblogged this on Spartan Eye and commented:
I love this witty, astute, anarchic site and you should take a wander.
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Thanks greatly for the re-blog and the kind words.
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The pleasure is mine, the work is yours!
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$Amen$
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Bonkers!
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Oh damn it! I just ordered a wolverine from Amazon. I may return it now 😀
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Yeah, you probably should. Just ain’t worth the risk. 🙂
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What a poor fellow
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Not the brightest guy.
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Normally, I’d be laughing right now. But, after having been nearly attacked by a golden eagle recently and advised by an expert not to walk again in that area, I’m a little sensitive about wild animal encounters.
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Wow. Golden Eagles can probably do some damage. Be careful. Ouch.
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They are known to kill 100 lb. deer. I weight 150 lbs., and cannot run nearly as fast!
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Very painful way to go, I’m sure, slowly eaten by an eagle.
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Wow rough. But it does show how tough the digestive system of wolverine’s are if they can handle that guys face. Thanks for the warning, next time he should try African killer bees as house pets? Hugs
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Or fire ants. Heard those are fun too.
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Oh ya… OH OUCH! Hugs
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