Five Jokes About Republicans

GOP_8

1.)  Q: How many Republicans does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: None.  Republicans don’t do menial labor.  They hire undocumented workers to do it for five cents an hour.

 

2.)  Q: What’s the hardest thing most Republicans will ever have to do?

A: Wait til their 18th birthday to gain access to their trust fund.

 

3.)  Q: How do Republicans acquire land?

A: They wait for their relatives to die.

 

4.)  Q: What’s the name of the first bank Republicans borrow money from without having to pay it back?

A: Mommy and Daddy’s Loans Unlimited

 

5.)  Q:  Besides a cornea operation without anesthesia, name three things Republicans hate most.

A:  The poor, the disabled, and the social programs that help keep them alive.

 

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19 thoughts on “Five Jokes About Republicans

  1. ALL true!

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  2. I’m not sure if Republicans have become such despicable creatures in the last 20 years, or if it just took me that long to notice.

    As a younger man I bought the R hype. I was too busy supporting a family by working my ass off to the point I drove my back straight into disability, to actually see just what it was I supported.

    I have seen the light brothers! I have driven the evil from my soul. Forgive me my ways of old. Never again…

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  3. Nasty bastards.

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  4. Brilliant. Especially number 3. Timeless!

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  5. It does seem to me Repubs make it so easy to dislike them

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  6. After reading your great jokes, I was going to point out the irony that most Republicans are poor snobs. But the discussion already covered that. Most enjoyable!

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  7. well, I’m also waiting for my relatives to die 😀 Am I a republican?

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    • Depends. Do you hate/feel fearful of gays? Do you despise the disabled and the poor? Are you terribly angry the South lost the Civil War in America? Most relatives suck, so wanting them dead is common. Being a self-aggrandizing, lazy ass who feels entitled to things because you’re rich, white, and a bigoted prick…well, not everyone is in that category.

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  8. But the majority of GOP voters are poor southerners.

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    • Indeed. I mean only to insult the idea of what the GOP represents. If poor Southerners are dumb enough to vote against their own self interests, then piss on them. They’re merely keeping their wealthy masters in power and deserve all the ill that will befall them because of it. Also, the GOP is most definitely NOT its voting constituency, as this current election is showing. The mindless drones that make up said constituency clearly want Trump as their lord and master. The GOP powers that be are shitting all over them and doing all they can to block this from happening. No, the GOP/Republican elite are not those who empower them. Idiots do that, and idiots deserve mockery in whatever form I can dish out. $Amen$

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  9. Love it, and if you replace Republicans with Tories the joke still works beautifully! You are transcending borders with your humour good sir! 🙂

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