1.) Q: How many Republicans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None. Republicans don’t do menial labor. They hire undocumented workers to do it for five cents an hour.
2.) Q: What’s the hardest thing most Republicans will ever have to do?
A: Wait til their 18th birthday to gain access to their trust fund.
3.) Q: How do Republicans acquire land?
A: They wait for their relatives to die.
4.) Q: What’s the name of the first bank Republicans borrow money from without having to pay it back?
A: Mommy and Daddy’s Loans Unlimited
5.) Q: Besides a cornea operation without anesthesia, name three things Republicans hate most.
A: The poor, the disabled, and the social programs that help keep them alive.